Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
Money problems can oftentimes be a very big issue in marriage. If one or both couples are not financially well-off, problems in relationship in terms of money issues may arise. Sometimes it can lead to marriage conflict resulting in unwanted breakage between couples if not resolved early on.
Financial problems have always been a part of everyday struggles for majority of us. Interestingly, when it comes to money, we tend to be very mindful of how we use it. As a consequence, arbitrary preferences in the appropriate use of one’s finances are a major source of conflicts among couples—each wants to control the other’s financial behavior, and when there’s resistance on each, resentments reign.
There are many things that change once an individual enters marriage; one of such is the need for responsible handling of one’s spending habits. Unlike when we were single, we have sole disposal of our financial resources, in marriage however, we always need to take into consideration our responsibility to use our money for the greater benefit of the marriage—including the ensuing family.
But how can you define a responsible handling of one’s finances in marriage?
I believe that as long as you do your best to address your marriage’s financial requirements without depriving yourself of your own legitimate need, you are being responsible.
Understandably in marriage however, each has expectations of how the other should handle their finances. It is of no help if each will start bickering about the “appropriate” spending priorities—this method will not resolve anything.
To resolve money issues in marriage, each must have a level of understanding over the legitimacy of the other’s spending behavior; each must understand the limits of the other and be not critical should there be an inadvertent shortcoming. So long as your husband gives some priority on bills and food on the table, don’t criticize him if he spends money on beer; as long as your wife gives her financial contribution of her family needs, there’s no need to question her regarding her shopping sprees.
Learn to understand the financial capability of the other in relation to the obligations he must meet.
If you observe that his financial capability is declining, never readily assume irresponsibility; perhaps factors like the market forces have something to do with it—there are many instances that ones spending power deviates because of inflation or high prices of basic commodities. Also, there are some inevitable instances when there’s an outside force that will require financial attention—of course, this has to be legitimate. For example, your partner’s mother may need financial assistance due to emergencies; in such an instance, it’s reasonable that you give consideration to such outside expense; after all, it’s a close relative.
A truth however one must learn: that some people are indifferent enough to give consideration. In such an instance, you must learn to keep a secret from such spouse. Some may label this suggestion as ill-intended, but to keep harmony in marriage we must sometimes learn not to disclose everything to our partners if we find it more beneficial to the well-being of our marriage.
In the enigma of money and marriage, responsibility, understanding, consideration and open communication are the keys that will transgress any conflicts. Be not too strict and allow elbowroom for each other’s isolated mishandlings or inadvertent arbitrariness in the handling of one’s finances. Remember, there are more important things than money.
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Getting to people to agree on anything is hard, and money is no exception.
I’ve always loved doing things my own way, so I’ve set up my life to do just that. I have no intentions of marriage or anything of the like.
My hat goes off to people who can make it work though. It takes a LOT of effort, humility, and mutual respect.
Fred Tracy recently posted..Why People Are Selfish (and Why They Shouldn’t Be)
This is a tough one for me too. I used to worry about how every penny was spent, but now leave it all to my wife. Sure we probably aren’t paying off debt as much as I’d like but at least we aren’t arguing about money any more.
Bryce
Bryce Christiansen recently posted..Workaholism in America (Are Americans Lazy?)
Hi Walter,
Congrats on the Versatile Blogger Award.
Bryce
Bryce Christiansen recently posted..15 Versatile Bloggers That Will Help Make The Best Better
Money issues are one of the biggest problems with troubled marriages. Learning how to work together to build wealth for the future is one of the hardest things to do, but can be one of the most rewarding.
Thanks for sharing this great post!
Grady Pruitt recently posted..The 3 Secrets of a Happy Marriage
Learn to understand the financial capability of the other in relation to the obligations he must meet.Thank you for sharing this post….
Samantha recently posted..italian chandeliers
Money was not an issue with me and my husband in the first years of marriage but when you have kids, it is something that both parties should think about because both should always think of savings and on how to buy the things needed instead of buying things we want.
Talking about money is a bit aloof the first time but it is very important in a couple to talk about it, because whether we like it or not, its part of marriage.
Pamela A. Figgs
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