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Are you guilty of these relationship conflict triggers?


 

While there is no such thing as perfect relationship, having consistent conflicts in a relationship is not normal. When people have harmonious relationship with each other, any arising conflicts are immediately identified and resolved; problem comes when one or each fail to recognize relationship issue that may compromise such harmony.

I have observed that the number one culprit of any relationship discordance is ignorance; such may inadvertently contribute to misunderstandings, trouble and unnecessary hurt between people who care for each other. Conflict in relationships can only be addressed if we know the triggering factors that are causing it.

Depart from such ignorance and know the following triggering factors.

 

Failure to listen

Our ears serve no purpose if we don’t want to hear what the other is conveying; worst even is when we only want to listen to ourselves. Many are guilty of this syndrome and this is where relationships start to crack. How can one truly understand the other if he does not allow himself to hear the point the other is trying to push through? A man may complain about his wife being critical on one aspect of their marriage and the wife may complain the same about her husband. The reason these scenarios happen is that each only hears their perception of the whole situation. If one would only learn to let go of his arbitrary view, his ears will finally start to be of purpose.

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”

— Ralph Nichols

Drop your judgment; genuinely lend your ears; and the next time a conflict arise in your relationship, sit down and tell the other: “I want to listen to what you have to say.”

Listen to get right response.

 

Unwillingness to accept one’s error

Failure to accept one’s error is the most common reason why relationships fail; its roots are embedded within our very nature: Pride! The more we are defiant in accepting our errors, the lesser is the chance for relationship to flourish. Much as we hate to be wrong, there’s no point in dwelling in it for the sake of saving our pride. It takes courage to accept our mistakes, but cowardice is the virtue of the bigots.

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”

–Bruce Lee

There’s nothing wrong with the statement: “I am wrong…” It only goes to show that you treasure your relationship by being courageous enough to admit your mistakes. For any relationship to flourish, each must be open to their flaws and try to evolve for the better.

 

Hidden resentments

Resentments are the silent assassins of harmonious relationships. With resentments, even the most trivial misunderstanding could easily escalate into major conflicts. If one is harboring resentments, any shortcomings of the other (however small) would always be equated to the same magnitude as that of the original cause of such resentment. For example, a wife resents his husband for his lack of financial capability. With such hidden resentment, any small financial issues will always be equated to him being financially incapable of supporting his family. This may sting his pride and hatch reciprocal resentment to his wife.

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

–Malachy McCourt

It is important to remember that all of us have our limits, shortcomings and mistakes; and it is imperative that we let others understand this. Relationship mishaps can be avoided if we be honest with our feelings and tell the other what we truly feel; this will give both the opportunity to know the truth and find a common ground of understanding.

 

Do you treasure your relationships?

What efforts did you do to make it last?

OR have you been ignorant?

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

–Anthony Robbins

 

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6 Responses to “Are you guilty of these relationship conflict triggers?”

  1. Anna says:

    Unwillingness to accept one’s error… yes It’s true :D but I’m trying to change it! everybody makes errors, that’s not such a big deal, right?
    Anna recently posted..How to attract the right manMy Profile

  2. David W. says:

    This is an intense eye opener for me. Relationships are terribly hard work for me, but they end up being worth the trouble.

    Your points here make me think of things I hadn’t considered before. So thank you. Hidden resentments are dangerous to any relationship, but with ones you want to love, they can tear everything apart.

    Really, thank you for this piece. I really enjoyed it.
    David W. recently posted..Getting Arrested in TijuanaMy Profile

  3. Erin says:

    You are so right, “The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
    The truth is that what we see as wrong in the other person is actually our bad, we realize that only when we listen to what our partner have to say :D Erin recently posted..Biomechanics of a Golf Swing ExplainedMy Profile

  4. Adrienne says:

    All very good points when it comes to relationships Walter.

    I can honestly say I haven’t been in one in a very long time so at this particular time in my life I can’t say that I’m doing something right or wrong in mine. But I’ve always been a very good listener and eager to work out our problems through constant conversation.

    One of the things that always upsets me about some people I know is that they are always eager to change the other person and never accept them for who and what they are. That’s why you always need to take a step back and really look at the person before you commit.

    Appreciate you sharing this with us. All very good points in deed.

    Adrienne
    Adrienne recently posted..Interview, Guest Post, Podcast, Oh My!My Profile

  5. Fred Tracy says:

    This is probably something I should read twice. Particularly the part about listening.

    The funny thing is I’m actually a really good listener. I don’t interrupt, and I do pay attention (most of the time). My problem comes about when I don’t actually do anything with what I’ve listened to.

    For example, in relationship problems I tend to ignore whatever doesn’t fit my paradigm. Meaning that if the other person is concerned about, say, their weight, I don’t really do much to support them because my automatic reaction is that that is something “dumb” to worry about.

    Just because I don’t think something is worth worrying about doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting them. A lesson to be learned, thank you. :-) Fred Tracy recently posted..How to Never Get Bored AgainMy Profile

  6. allexaU says:

    In having a strong and great relationship you need to give and take, understanding each other and accepting that you are not always right and taking chances and listen to each other.
    allexaU recently posted..How to avoid panic attacksMy Profile

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