Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
Strolling with my two-year-old son during our regimented late afternoon expedition around the relaxing greeneries of our neighborhood, I never would have thought how much I’ve changed since I became a father. While I’m not very vocal about it, I have within me the urge to do my best for my children.
Though my son has become a little naughty and defiant (in an adoring and innocent kind of way) I would always find him needing guidance as he explores the world surrounding him. The look in his eyes alone—simple and without pretensions—could convey the most genuine of feelings; his tears would make me tremble, his laughter would dispel any void and his hug could numb my weariness.
Indeed there are things one can discover upon himself once an inevitable chapter of his life unfolds, and being a parent is one of them.
As I see my life then, becoming a father has taught me:
to bring out the best in me
Being imperfect that I am, I have low tolerance when it comes to children. But having my own however has changed my attitude towards them. Truly, in the eyes of a parent, their child is the most treasured blessings in this world. My once intolerance has been replaced with understanding, my precariousness has succumbed to being responsible, and my selfishness has surrendered to genuine concern. Not only did I have developed these attitudes around my children, I have also learned to implement them in other areas of my life.
to be careful of my actions
Most of the time, I am fast with my actions without thinking of the consequences. But my fatherhood has taught me to be more careful of my acts. For instance, for the sole purpose of satisfying my ego—let alone the expectations of others—I would allow myself to be engaged in uncompromising situations (i.e., senseless fights, frenetic escapades, immoral practices); but crooning my son as he lay his needing arms around me, I realized that I’ve been too precarious and selfish with my previous acts. With this I have learned to be prudent of my actions: relying no more on the urge, praise or deprecation of others.
sense of direction
In the sea of life I have wandered aimlessly, neither with purpose or destination. While having a partner gave sense, it was not enough. But my son has made me see, a road among a cragged path—one of purpose, meaning and opportunity. Being a father has prompted me to alleviate myself from my current lot, to look at possibilities where I can improve. My son’s presence has prompted me to explore ways for a better life, for him to enjoy as he journey through life.
valuing life
As I adore this little person that has altered my life in a major way, I can’t help but to appreciate the value and beauty of life. Oftentimes, I am baffled at why some people engage themselves in activities that is destructive of life. Looking at the innocence of my son I have asked myself: what has become of man that he evolved into destroying his own brethren.
Seeing the need in the eyes of my son, I have learned to recognize such look in the eyes of others. It’s no wonder it is said that we should help one another—for we all share this blessing called life.
I know there is much to learn as I go on with this journey, and there’s much need of surrender in the name of the well-being of my son. Fate has its way to change us for the better; however it is up to us to see this purpose. As for me, being a father has made me see things important in life. And for this I am very thankful for this new dimension of my existence.
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It sounds like it’s been a great life changing experience for you.
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Yeah.. Must be a great experience! I bet it wasn’t easy at first but yeah it’s cool how this make you see things important in life.
For starters, I am not yet married, neither am I yet a father. But then, in a way I can relate to these feelings of yours in the realm of fatherhood. I guess being a father conveys a much greater responsibility on us as men because we more than anything else want to be the best example we can possibly be to our children. This sense of responsibility ushers in a greater purpose than the one we previously held. It helps us to be more accountable of our every actions knowing well that there is another generation coming behind us that is looking up to us. This alone is a source of growth and inspiration for us to be the best we could possibly be. Fatherhood, I would say makes us better men than before.
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It’s good to read such a heart warming post like this.. More often women shares a lot about on Parenting stuff and it’s good to know that you we’re able to share great post in here… It’s worth the read… Thanks a lot for sharing…
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Hi Walter
Great post with some inspiring thoughts about raising a child.
Having raised 3 kids myself I can vouch for many of the feelings that you expressed about becomming a farther.
It is important that we take the time to savour the simple moments as the years slip by quickly and they grow up all too soon to experince life on their own.
Great Blog that you have created!
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This is a very nice story and I imagine that Fatherhood doesn’t affect everyone in an equally positive way. In particular as you say it has “enabled you to see the look of need in other people’s eyes”. That’s a valuable gift in itself.
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Walter I too have learned a lot from being a father, while my lessons might not have been as profound as yours there are 2 that stand out.
1. Being a better listener. Little girls love to talk and just being able to listen to what they have to say will help tremendously when they are teenagers..I hope!
2. The importance of taking care of your health. I used to be a party animal when I was younger and a fast food addicted.
Realizing that the best way to take care of my kids was to take care of myself helped me lose 30 pounds and give them an active father and role model.
I love your writing style by the way.
Steve
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Hi Walter…that was a heart moving read! Honestly. It touched me because like a father I feel the same way. I share your feelings and thoughts 100%. Keep it up
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Hello Walter. how nice of you to share such an enlightening post like this. Two thumbs for this. keep it up!
Looks like being a father greatly change your perspectives. It is really true what they say, that there are things you only learn when yo become a father/mother.
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I have 2 great kids both boys. I was a carefree and free spirit way back my single hood years but with the arrival of this 2 wacky kids, I slowly came to realize and set straight things up for the two precious being who depended on me. It was not an overnight renewing but slowly those wayward days are almost over now. I should practice what I preach since I am the mirror they have to look at everyday of their life.
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This sense of responsibility ushers in a greater purpose than the one we previously held. It helps us to be more accountable of our every actions knowing well that there is another generation coming behind us that is looking up to us. |
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It came to realize and set straight things up for the two precious being who depended on me. It was not an overnight renewing but slowly those wayward days are almost over now. I should practice what I preach since I am the mirror they have to look at everyday of their life.
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Being a father is a tough job. Keep it up sir. And thank you for sharing your experience with us.
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I guess being a father conveys a much greater responsibility on us as men because we more than anything else want to be the best example we can possibly be to our children. This sense of responsibility ushers in a greater purpose than the one we previously held.
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