Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
Gossips are oftentimes amusing to our ears and it makes me wonder why it has been so. I’m not a hypocrite so as to deny that I’m not entertained by it. However, I have learned many times that it does not benefit me in any way—let alone my ensuing wrong impression to the person involved. In fact, it has mostly clouded my reason, thereby prompting me to make unfounded judgment upon the object of gossip.
Gossips have dominated many of our conversations. Instead of discussing things that would further our well-being, most of us resigns to such shallow talk. We did not even bother to verify the veracity of what we hear, we just readily believe. Perhaps it is entertainment and satisfaction that we get that makes gossips click.
What am I talking about?
Gossip stirs our curiosity.
Being curious about something brings color to our life, and gossip is one of its channels—how do you think Hollywood clicks? When we hear of interesting rumors it prompts us to dig in. The more we know the more we are entertained, and this brings us certain level of excitement and anticipation.
“Hey, have you heard of Mr. X being caught up by his wife cheating?” “I wonder what will happen next.”
Engaging isn’t it?
Gossip can be a source of vindication
Sometimes we engage ourselves to gossips just to find some inner vindication. If we heard of rumors that we can relate into in terms of the mistakes we have once committed we become interested.
Mr. G: “Did you know that our colleague Y has been caught sleeping on the job and was immediately suspended?”
Mr. V. “That’s sad, it happened to me once. I wonder what will happen to him.”
Mr. G. “Don’t worry I will update you on the latest development.”
Gossip feeds our need for self righteousness.
When we hear of the affairs of others—be it positive or negative (mostly negative)—we fall under the trap of making arbitrary judgments. If we hear of somebody making blunders, we forget our own flaws and feel condescending of our own self righteousness. We tell ourselves that “He’s bad and I’m good because I can’t imagine doing the unacceptable act that he did.” It somehow gives us a sense of pride about our own clear conscience. But little do we know that we have blinded ourselves of our own flaws.
Whatever our reasons for entertaining gossips we must be aware of how it robs us of the productive use of our precious time and energy. In everything we do with our short lives we must put premium on things that would be of value to us. Engaging our time on activities that brings no useful benefits will only be a waste of the opportunity we were given each day. It’s no wonder that many people are non-achievers because they have squandered much of their waking days prying on the affairs of others, as a consequence they lead their lives in stagnancy and decay. Remember that life is what we make of it; what we do each day reflects our future. Many of us dream of a good life but few choose to take the necessary actions that would make such dream a reality. Instead, we engage ourselves on wasteful activities that are furthering us from enhancing our conditions in life. Be wise of what you invest today, for so shall you reap in the days to come.
Let me depart with this short story that will serve as a reminder every time you find yourself under the lure of gossip.
One day Socrates came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”
Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really…”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful,! why tell it to me at all?”
The man was defeated and ashamed.
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Lol what a great story. Hahaha gossiping is a disease, i dislike people with that act. Its always good for someone to stay away from gossipers. Thanks for sharing. Have fun.
I like the three filter test.
J.D. Meier recently posted..Getting Results the Agile Way is Now Available in Print
Gossip is really an illness. We should stay away from it all the time. Thanks for sharing Walter!
Dia recently posted..How to save your relationship and marriage
good filter test…
Nice post! I never really thought of gossiping this way and wow very nice insight I must say.
Hi Walter,
I like the filter test. Sometimes, it is hard to do that without people getting offended, but that is a good way to stop it before it even happens.
I don’t like to be in the presence of someone who gossips, because in the grand scheme of things, it is just not worth it.
Take care,
Evelyn
Evelyn @ Become a Healthier You recently posted..Announcement- Member of Hive Health Media Network
Awesome topic, Walter, and I must say that Socrates was a brilliant man. The next time someone wants to share a big juicy piece of gossip with us, we should immediately employ the three-filter test!
Gossip plays into human nature and really gets our ears to perk up. But as you’ve so eloquently laid out, it takes away from our productivity and valuable opportunities in life.
The moral of your story? Gossiping may grab our attention, pique our curiosity, and get our blood flowing, but it’s a useless waste of our precious time.
Melanie Kissell recently posted..Integrity vs Scarcity
I worked in a corporate culture where gossiping was, perhaps not officially condoned, but also not discouraged.
In an aggressive corporate culture like this one, any little thing that could get you ahead and put your competitors behind was all free game, driving people to do things they wouldn’t probably have done.
It would have been great to weave the three filters into the mess and make it a little less toxic a place to work