Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
There are people in our lives that we love dearly, but very often we are having trouble of expressing such love. In our efforts to enhance their well-being we go to great lengths in exploring ways that would make them feel loved. The problem though is that in the process we have blinded ourselves of the simple yet powerful ways of expressing our love.
One of the most convenient methods people employ to extend their love is thru material means. While I have nothing against it, I have observed that it has been oftentimes used as an agent of deceit. There are many reasons why we receive material things (usually in the form of gifts) but we can never be really sure if love is behind the intention. It is false to assume that material things alone will fill the love needs of our loved ones. Yes we can make someone felt loved by giving them things—especially those that they yearn the most—but genuine expression of love touches the heart in a way that no material form can equal.
We don’t have to look far nor yearn for the impossible to express our love. Some of the powerful expressions of love can be in the simplest of gestures. While we put much premium on the tangibles, what really counts is the sincerity and genuineness of our intention. The greatest proof of love is the selflessness behind every act.
Expressing love can be as simple as follows:
Thoughtfulness
Being thoughtful is the most effective means of expressing love to our dear ones. The very fact that we are mindful of the needs of the other proves that we care about their well-being. The effectiveness of this method resides on the fact that we are being sensitive to the person of the other. Thoughtfulness could be anywhere from making him smile when he’s gloomy, or being there when she needs a shoulder to lean on, or preparing his favorite dish, or giving her a massage after a days work.
Love displayed in a manner unanticipated will be highly appreciated, however simple or small it may be.
Understanding
Little is the awareness of many about the loving nature of understanding. By our receptiveness to the feelings of our loved ones, we are already resonating love which the other can appreciate even though they may not be vocal about it. Each of us is different and there are actions by the other over which we may not comprehend. However, if we truly love the other we would do our best to enforce understanding rather than being judgmental. More often than not people simply need to be understood in order to feel accepted.
Try to be more understanding to the quirks or idiosyncrasies of our loved ones—no matter how mind-boggling it is—and they will know that they are truly loved for who they are.
Listening
Listening is the most sincere form of concern that we can give to the person we love. By suspending our judgment and opening ourselves to the expression of the other, we not only showed our sense of maturity, but we have also demonstrated genuine concern. Not so many people are patient with listening; it has been the tendency of many to listen only to themselves and ignore the voice of others.
Extending love can be as simple as listening. In a world full of noise and selfishness, one will deeply appreciate someone who is willing to be silent and be all ears.
Touch of concern
A simple touch of concern goes a long way in making someone feel that he’s not alone. When we were kids we seek the soothing touch of our parents whenever we need assurance or are afraid or hurt. Being grownup does not mean that we don’t seek such gesture whenever we are visited by our worries and anxieties.
Whenever you sense that your loved ones are down or defeated, give them a touch of concern. It does not matter if he does not reciprocate, what is important is the show of love you have made with such gesture.
Sincere Words
Many don’t realize the importance of words in conveying our love. There are things that we want to hear from our loved ones yet somehow they find it hard to say it. Perhaps the uncomfortable feeling of being emotional prevents us from expressing what’s in our hearts. I have encountered many silly gaps in a relationship just because each is withholding what they need to say.
Words have powerful impact especially when used as an instrument of love; we just need to say it with sincerity. Say “I love you” or “Be careful” or “I’m here for you” or “You’re an important part of me” to the people you care about, you may not know but they are longing for this words from you. Don’t hesitate, just say it.
The greatest mistake people commit when it comes to expressing their love is that they do it only when its too late—when those special someone in their lives are no longer able to appreciate. Let us always remember that every moment is an opportunity to express our love to our spouses, parents, children, friends and other special people in our lives; just remember the simple methods above and your relationship with them will go strong.
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Hi Walter,
It is amazing when we look around and see how so many people, not only don’t say how much they care for the other, but above all take for understood their love is reaching their loved one, as if just their presence is the proof of their love, yet they crave proof of the other’s love in the way of words and small acts coming to them.
In a society where children grow without the continuous hugs, words of love and encouragement from their parents, they learn to behave the same way as adults with their children and spouses, then we have a society that doesn’t know how to express their feelings and many times good relationships have problems just because of this lack in the knowledge on how to just “say what’s in the heart”
Great post Walter, thank you for sharing
Raul
Alien Ghost recently posted..Blogging and Telepathy
It’s sad how our children grow nowadays without experiencing the simplest gesture of love. Perhaps our society should be aware that expressing love can be very simple and not the commercialized way of doing it.
Love is perhaps the most precious gift that anyone can give to others, the moment a person realized this he or she will be happy forever
Vinish Parikh recently posted..Why Fundamental Analysis is Done
Love transgresses any boundaries. We need to learn to express it in our own little way.
Hi Walter,
Sometimes the people who seem the most unlovable are the ones who need love and affection the most. It’s so easy to be fooled by the outside appearance of someone and see through them, rather than taking the time to really understand where they are coming from. I agree that just letting your loved ones know that you care about them and are there for them, can really make all the difference.
A very thought-provoking article that I enjoyed reading.
Karen
Karen recently posted..100 Things That Make Me Happy
That’s absolutely right Karen. Loving someone is as simple as letting the other know that we care and are there for them. Simple yet powerful.
Walter recently posted..Four things you must accomplish before you die
To express love now is the best thing to do. Thanks for sharing your wise thoughts.
All the best,
Boris
Boris recently posted..Canadian experience is required…
Right you are Boris, expressing love should be now, not later and when in regret.
Walter recently posted..Four things you must accomplish before you die
You know Walter, just doing a simple chore around the house for my wife goes further than any gift I could buy or just about anything else I could do.
It doesn’t take much to really show genuine love.
Hi Joshua. I’m exactly doing that around our home. Actually, it’s one of my expression of love to my wife.
Hi Walter
You really understand the simplicity of love.
Someone once told me that love is a verb. You love someone by doing things for them as you mention in your post.
You can’t buy love or manipulate it. It isn’t a reciprocal thing – you love me and I will love you back.
I really enjoyed this post.
Thank you
Marion Anderson recently posted..Overwhelm and the Learning Life Cycle
Whenever I find myself agitated with with someone or some circumstance I have made it a habitual question to ask, “what would love do know.” The answer is always very simple and easy.
rob white recently posted..How to Take Command of the Mind
Thought provoking indeed!
One of the things I love the most about this post is it uses simple,free and genuine suggestions to express love.
There is a book I really enjoy, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman it looks at the different ways individuals understand love.
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I was just going to say this reminded me of the book “The Five Love Languages” – I think it’s a great one to read with a partner and find out which way they express/receive love most meaningfully – my fiance and I read it together and it was interesting to see our “Love Languages” – mine were ‘Words of Affirmation’ and ‘Gifts’ where his were ‘Acts of Service’ and ‘Physical Touch’. Since reading it we have been more in tune with each other and I think it’s wonderful. It’s so important to take the time, too, to tell people how much they mean to us regularly
that’s a very nice post, people need to read things like that so that they know how to treat others in a better way, thank u
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Walter such wonderful advice. Few people stop to realize just how far the touch of an arm or a kind word goes to brightening someones day.
Thank you Rose. Most of the time we are blind to the needs of our loved ones. We just need to observe and we will learn how simple we can express our love.
Listening, or ‘active listening’, is a wonderful way to show that you truly care for somebody. You can reflect their comments back and strengthen your relationship so easily just by really listening.
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