Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
One mistake I have observed most parents commit with regards to their children is failing to teach them the important virtues they must learn to lead a noble life. While some of us go about correcting the misdeed of our children we have failed to instill unto them the necessary knowing to guide their path long after they depart from our influence. In our present time, more of our children fall on the wrong path trying to find their place. It is unfortunate to hear our youths being involved in precarious activities that may blight their future. Teaching children the right values would benefit them throughout their lifetime.
Being a parent myself, I try my best to instill values to my children. Fear hunts me as I lay witness to the proliferation of false values that tends to corrupt the minds of our youths. As our children get older, our control starts to diminish as they discover kinship outside the vicinity of home. Without the needed wisdom to guide their judgment, they can easily fall on the treacherous path.
Of course every parent wants the well-being of their children. But oftentimes we ourselves have been deprived of the appropriate value systems that we should have learned from our parents. However with the experience we have acquired as we walk on thorny terrains of our existence, we have gain wisdom about the true face of life. Such is what we should impart on our children.
The values I have learned from my parents was lacking in many ways. But because of my observant nature, I have learned the following important virtues which I would want to impart on my progenies:
Open-mindedness
We must teach our children to always adopt an open mind approach in dealing with things and events that manifest before them. Truth comes in many forms and by restricting our mind to what we only believe, we cannot see the bigger picture. Children must learn not to settle for what was or what’s believed to be. They need to allow other views without any judgment in order to get into the root of things. It’s unfortunate that most grownups I’ve come to meet are stubborn with their antiquated ways and belief systems; they find it hard to adapt to any development and thus they’re having what is called generation gap. This could have prevented if they were instilled during their youth openness. I don’t want to repeat this error unto my children.
Respect for others
Conflicts arise as a result of disrespect upon the rights of others. We see these kinds of conflicts everyday via mainstream media, social interactions and even around the corner of our domain. The sad part is our children come to witness this ugly display of human conflict. If we our children are taught the importance of respect, they will be very judicious with their civilities with others. Extending respect for others mean acknowledging their right as a person as well as the privilege they are entitled to enjoy. Giving respect will also gain respect.
Self confidence
Each person has the capability to do great things in their own way. Let us not allow our children to harbor any feelings of inferiority. We should inculcate unto them that no matter what others say of their lack they should not allow it to rob them of their confidence. They must understand that achieving is a matter of believing in ones self— that we can be what we want to be if we put faith on ourselves. A child must understand that having confidence in ones ability is the key in furthering his/her potential. Without faith in ones capability, we have only wasted the gift bestowed upon us all by our creator.
Humility
Seldom do I encounter people who practice humility in their interaction with others. Much of what’s embraced is uplifting one’s ego, especially those who hold prominent status in life. Our children need to know that there’s nothing to be gained by being pompous. They must understand that whatever status and achievement any person may acquire in life does not alleviate his/her mortality. The problem with most people is that whenever they experience fame and power, they forget their own vulnerability, and this proffers their attitude of arrogance. Humility is a characteristic of the wise and a true measure of a person’s worth.
Compassion
Despite the seeming differences we all have with one another, we are all one in the eyes of our creator. Therefore it is our duty to extend ourselves to others even in our own little way. I want my children to learn compassion with other beings. The furtherance of our kind lies on our capacity to extend ourselves to others. While war and conflicts are necessary evils, we must do our best to treat others with compassion. The law of nature may be survival of the fittest, and it runs on our veins the tendency to preserve ourselves than to be concerned of others. But let us remember the spiritual aspects of ourselves. Our physical form beckons its furtherance on this temporary life but our spirit seeks to find its other parts through connecting with other souls—this is the reason we feel good when we have given ourselves to others.
Have you asked yourself lately the values you have imparted on your children? Did you ever thought if your teachings would serve as an effective guide for the well-being of your offspring? While it is given that we want the best for our kids, have you thought about the timelessness and effectiveness of the lessons you have taught your children? Remember that as parents we are responsible for molding the basic value foundations of our children. If we don’t give them solid foundation in terms of right virtues and principle, we will suffer the consequences later on. Children are by nature imitative of their parents, and from these imitations they form an understanding thru which they categorize what is right from wrong. Let us make sure we give our best to light their understanding.
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I think it’s good to have these values taught because they are the big directions and guidelines. Sometimes kids are taught by their parents what’s wrong and what’s right without really explaining why. This limits their ability to figure out what’s right in situations they’ve never encountered before. But if the values are there, even if there’s a misstep, it will not be all that far away from the right path.
.-= Kelvin Kao´s last blog ..How to make Caesar salad =-.
Explaining the reason why to our children is extremely important. This way they are able to know the reason behind any of our prohibitions. Without giving explanation they could make a wrong interpretation.
Hi Walter,
I think it’s really important to instill the values in children during their formative years (before age 5) when your influence is the strongest. After that studies show that their peers have a greater influence on children. I think self-confidence, compassion, humility, open-mindedness, and respect for others are fantastic values that all people should follow.
Karen
.-= Karen´s last blog ..The Next Step In Finding Meaning For Your Life =-.
The formative years of our children is indeed the most crucial period wherein we should teach them important values. I’m fortunate that I have known this fact before I had my children. I now do my best to instill values to my 2 year old son. He may not yet understand the wisdom behind my words but I convey it in actions and gestures.
Walter, this is such important information. It’s easy to forget the power that we have in teaching our children. The values you described not only make the world a better place when practiced, but will lead to a life of contentment and joy for our children.
.-= Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..How to Live With Your Inner Critic =-.
During the formative years of a child it sees its parents as gods. The actions of the parents are interpreted as valid by their children. If we set wrong examples, our children will treat it as right. It is important that we should be mindful of the gestures we extend to our children. Their future lies on the foundation we set upon them.
you are right Walter, the main reason adults luck confidence is the way they were treated when they were children.
if we can change our attitude towards them we will save the next generations from feeling inferior
.-= farouk´s last undefined ..Response cached until Sun 23 @ 8:23 GMT (Refreshes in 0.30 Hours) =-.
More often than not, we are the extension of our parents.
Walter, I believe you are absolutely right. There’s too much ‘junk’ that kids are learning on their own, which is dangerous.
For instance, my 6 and 7 year old niece and nephew notice when someone’s ‘fat’ or different. I don’t blame kids, they’re curious by nature. I blame their parents who don’t talk to their children and explain differences in other people.
I have talked to them and they’re generally good kids. I wish people would invest time into their kids…. those early years are the foundation of how these children will view the world later on in life.
.-= Moon Hussain´s last blog ..Fun Friday Round-Up: OMG I’m Less Than 3 Weeks From My Move! =-.
I’m sadden by the fact that there are many junk examples being proliferated on our children, especially the mainstream media. Parents needs to be serious about teaching their children the difference between right and wrong.
Hi Walter, thanks for this. I work with young people in their teenage years who are ‘socially excluded’. The reason for this is too often because the parents have been ‘absent’, meaning they have not been around enought to give reasonable guidance and the young people have been left to fend and learn for themselves. Sadly they mostly learn the bad behaviour and take the wrong path. In other instances they have been led down these paths by the parents themselves.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
.-= Mandy Allen´s last blog ..Helping out where we can =-.
It’s unfortunate that such children have been victims of their irresponsible parents. It has always been my hope that these children would earn the wisdom they need to withstand the reality of life. It is a blessing they have people like you Mandy to guide their path.
I believe one way many parents can step up to the place is to tell their children “no” more often. Children need parents not friends.
Most parents do have a hard time saying no to their children and I’m one of them. But I have evolved and learned that part of loving is to reject the unfavorable whims of our children.
I think self-confidence is very important to teach kids especially with peer pressure these days. Being confident will help them say no and feel good about it.
.-= Faizal Nisar´s last blog ..Get Yourself To Take Action =-.
When a child is thirsty for approval they will seek it on others. Being confident is a mindset we should inculcate on our children. Confidence is a powerful attitude leading to success.
These are all great virtues that we should be teaching our children. And one of the best ways to teach them these virtues is to set an example.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Third Annual Complain About the Heat Post =-.
Exactly Jen. Without setting an example kids will have a hard time learning.
Walter,
I am a few years away from having a family, etc. But enjoyed your article. Tell you the truth, the idea of being responsible for what turns out from a little dude or dudette is kinda scary.
Yavor
.-= Yavor´s last blog ..Handstand Pushups: How To Make Them Easier And Get Super Hero Shoulders In The Process (Video) =-.
I was scared at first. But then I felt my responsibility to mold the character of my children. It’s hard and fulfilling at the same time.
These are all wonderful gifts to give our children and all whom we touch. Thanks for this.
.-= Mark´s last blog ..Hooking-Up on MySpace, Facebook and Other Social Media Sites =-.
Thanks for appreciating Mark.
Don’t have a kid yet, but I agree with all you’ve said! You’ve definitely established some great pillars for people to focus on!
.-= Ross Hudgens´s last blog ..Medium Length Blog Posts are the New Black =-.
Thank you Ross. I hope you will find this useful when you have kids of your own.