Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
Mistakes are something we go queasy about. In every instance we commit them it’s very hard for us to assume the proper response to assuage its consequences. Though the appropriate approach is thru acknowledgment, we prefer to cloak our mistakes by means of denial. Despite the nagging of guilt, we chose to be adamant in excusing ourselves from the errors we’ve made.
Although none of us wants to be put in a situation where our credibility is threatened, mistakes will be a part of the reality of our existence. The problem however is that we become lost when it comes to dealing with our errors. Instead of using the light of reason to properly address the situation, we allow our ego to deal with the matter. Of course, our ego would certainly hate anything that would put into question its integrity. As a consequence, we take no responsibility for the mess we did.
Fear of exposing ourselves to our vulnerabilities is another factor for our denial. Being put in a situation where our weak side will be manifested prompts us to take preventive actions to negate such threat; in effect we prefer to go blind of our mistakes than to experience our vulnerabilities.
It is indeed enticing to handle our mistakes in the above stated manners; aside from impunity, we have saved ourselves from the responsibility of making amends. But this does not come without a price. As we go on with our twisted ways of dealing with our mistakes, we become despicable in the eyes of many. In the long run, we will loose the respect of the people who once venerated us. What good can one gain by associating himself with people who does not own any mistake? Who would trust such a character? These people have become blind of their own imperfections; their arrogance and bigotry have defeated their provision for self examination. While they believe in their own self-righteousness, they have become less as a person.
A question shall be posed: What good will I gain should I take responsibility for the mistakes I made? Perhaps this is a deep question we ask ourselves every time we err; but unfortunately, fear displaces this inner query. Without being aware, our minds automatically conjure a scenario of the negative consequences we will suffer as a consequence of our mistakes; and with such perceive threat our immediate response would be to find our way out without taking any responsibility. This initial reaction of our mind happens in just split seconds. Should we take heed (like most of us do), our mistakes will be compounded. If on the other hand we summon the courage to take responsibility, we may perhaps suffer the indignities, BUT we will free ourselves from the nagging of our conscience; irrespective of the judgments we receive from others, we have made a noble act.
Still, it is very difficult the face the disgrace inherent with the mistakes we make.
Let me sight the lesson I have learned when it comes to the dilemma of facing our mistakes. First, we must all realize that we are never exempt from imperfections. From this we can deduce the certainty of us committing errors. Therefore we should not allow ourselves to be affected by the arrogant judgment of others; instead, we should focus on the brave act taking responsibility for the mistakes we made. Though it is natural to worry about the negative implications our erroneous acts, we should be courageous enough to face our responsibility. Let us not allow the false perception that we’ve diminished ourselves. On the contrary, we have proved our worth by facing our fears; few are those who are wise enough to step above this fear.
Allow the mockery of short-sighted people, endure the uncomfortable experience of making amends, pick up the lessons scattered from your mistakes, have the courage to say you’re sorry, take the well-meaning criticisms of others, be humble, and most of all, forgive yourself. The wisdom behind all our mistakes is to develop us into a better person. If we keep running from our mistakes, we deny ourselves of the opportunity to elevate our understanding. Much as we think that we have done well in dodging our mistakes, we have thus eluded ourselves of the invaluable lessons we need to learn.
What about you? What did you do with your mistakes? Did you…
…feel sorry and humbled yourself
…make an apology
…acknowledge your responsibility
…take part in the solution
…learn from your errors
…face the consequences despite the indignities
…forgive yourself and move on?
Or did you take the easy path of fleeing? Oftentimes, we think that escaping from any form of responsibility is an ideal approach; later did we realize we have suffered much as a consequence of such choice. Let it be remembered that cowardice is an agent of decay.
“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying… that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”
~Alexander Pope, in Swift, Miscellanies
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“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.”
- Mary Tyler Moore
.-= Tiago Marcelo´s last blog ..Blood Orange with Asparagus =-.
Exactly Tiago, such is the wisdom of mistakes.
Hi Walter,
How are you?
This post makes for a wonderful read for my young niece. We were just talking about taking responsibility for mistakes and acknowledging the primitive fight/flight response that can occur when the ego is checked. The gift: It’s important to acknowledge there is a lesson in each mistake.
Have a great weekend,
Kim
I’m fine Kim, thanks for asking. I hope your niece would accept the importance of taking responsibility for our mistakes. It is one of life’s most important source of wisdom.
Walter, I see two types of mistakes.
1. Those that only affect me.
2. Those that affect others, and perhaps me also.
In both cases I try to quickly get to forgiveness and acceptance of myself, then move to remedying the situation as best as possible, and finally I ask myself what I learned so the mistake doesn’t get repeated.
.-= John Soares´s last blog ..Middle-Aged Brains Actually Work Quite Well =-.
Such an excellent approach to dealing with mistakes John. It’s not an easy task though, but through constant practice and awareness, we can make this effective attitude incorporated in our habits.
Walter!
Love your thoughtful posts. Just wrote something similar for the ParmFarm – ‘When Wrong is Right’. The gist…I love when I’m wrong, because it means I’ve learned something. Glad to see you are persevering. Lucky us.
amy
Hey thanks Amy. Few people hate it when they are wrong, but you are wise to evolve from this common attitude.
Very true, it often feels easier to shy away from mistake rather than making the brave choice. I liked that you called it a brave act, because it really is brave to admit the mistakes “the brave act taking responsibility for the mistakes we made.”
Personal-responsibility is empowering…it just doesn’t always seem like it.
It does takes courage to face our mistakes. While it is understandable our fear of the consequences of our errors, we need to be brave enough to redeem ourselves. with this act comes the improvement of one’s self.
When I was younger I used to try to hide my mistakes or spend time defending myself. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to admit them, see them as learning opportunities, and try to make things right. It’s definitely a more peaceful way to live.
.-= Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..What Trips Your Unsubscribe Trigger? =-.
In the past, when I’ve committed mistakes, I find myself bothered. The thought of cheating by running from my responsibility, beleaguers my conscience. Indeed Jean, admitting our mistakes brings more peace into our lives.
Hi Walter,
It’s only human to make mistakes and have failures. I think people beat themselves up too much when that happens when they should recognize that a lot of mistakes aren’t that big a deal. A simple apology goes a long way if you harm somebody’s feelings. It’s important to learn from our mistakes so that we don’t repeat them.
Thanks for sharing,
Karen
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Friday’s Links =-.
You’re right Karen, being human is to err. But it’s unfortunate how many of us become lost when it comes to dealing with our mistakes. Knowing the right approach in dealing with our mistakes will give us an understanding of the true nature of our mistakes.
Walter: Great post and I couldn’t agree more. Mistakes and living and learning is all a part of the process. I think we have to make certain that we are open to growing and learning and that means we have to tolerate and be willing to learn from our mistakes.
Openness is an important element of growth. Without accepting our mistakes, we deny ourselves of the opportunity for growth and learning.
I love the graphic! lol. Anf I love the comment that you made above: “Without accepting our mistakes, we deny ourselves of the opportunity for growth and learning.” I may be quoting you one day…
.-= LenciB: fallingintofavor´s last blog ..Asa’s Prayer =-.
Thanks a lot for appreciating, it prods me to do better.
I think that often, when life throws the uncomfortable at us, the easiest option is to flee. It’s harder to face the mistake and see it as a learning opportunity instead of running away, but if we made the choice to learn from what we’ve done wrong, and take the more difficult path, whether in admitting we’re not perfect or apologising to someone, we can grow so much more.
The path of growth is thorny and uncomfortable, perhaps this is the reason few are able to trek through. Facing and learning from our mistakes will always be for our benefit.
Enjoyed the post, man. While I’m not influenced how to proceed in life by blogs, its posts like these that reinfoce my purpose.
I love not being afraid of failure, it gives us an edge above cowards that fear failure.
.-= TJ´s last blog ..Be Who You Want To Be =-.
Hey Walter, great post, I wont be so afraid of making mistakes anymore as I realise it will hold my business back, thanks for sharing this, Sally
.-= Sally Neill´s last blog ..In It To Win It And Need YOUR Help =-.
Walter,
We have many learning experiences throughout our lifetime. Without these, there would be no growth. Thanks for putting this topic in perspective. No mistakes means you are not living, you are existing!
Have an awesome day,
.-= Val Wilcox´s last blog ..Discover Your Purpose in Life =-.
Val
“By ignorance we mistake, and by mistakes we learn” – Recently I read this somewhere and I was thrilled.
Excellent post, Walter, the way we see our mistakes will determine whether we will grow from them… Or will we become blocked because of them.
“The wisdom behind all our mistakes is to develop us into a better person.” – You said it beautifully.
.-= Marko — Calm Growth´s last blog ..The Current State of Personal Development Scene (On The Internet) =-.
Hi,
Everyone makes mistakes in his life. And I think it is a natural thing to make mistakes and you should not get too upset about it. There is no gain in thinking about your mistakes all the time. Rather, you should keep a positive attitude about it. A problem can be handled in two different ways. You can either see it with a negative attitude and feel disappointed by it or face the problem with a positive attitude. If you treat a problem with positive attitude then, you will be able to concentrate on solving that problem. A positive attitude will make you look at your each mistake as an opportunity to learn. You will realize that every failure in your life takes you one step closer to the success. A positive attitude will not let you lose hope in life and help us to find a way to overcome our problems.
.-= Ben Tien´s last blog ..Hypnosis Dark Side =-.
This is deep Ben. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here. Indeed we should take a positive attitude in dealing with our mistakes. It is only then that we can see the lessons behind it.