How I wish I could immune myself to the disappointments of life, but no matter how I much I try to protect myself, disappointment find its way. Despite my efforts of planning, anticipating and scrupulous dissection of all the important aspects of my everyday living, unwanted consequences abounds—leaving me reeling with questions and frustration. Even if I try my best to avoid its clasp, I’m always caught up when I least expect it.
Oftentimes I am bothered as to the reason of my thwarted expectations. Albeit my efforts to make more predictable what will come ahead, certain events beyond my control destroys the orderly thread for which I try to weave. One of my greatest disappointments is failure. Even with my hard work and meticulous consideration of my methods, failure seems to warrant my every attempts of success. In every avenue of my life, the haunting promise of disappointment threatens my positive expectations. There’s always the nagging of “what if’s” with every endeavors I pursue, and fear visits my thoughts whenever I hope for the best. Perhaps you may dismiss me as being negative, but I believe that most of us have had the same fears once we experienced the bitterness of disappointments.
The question arises as to how to deal with such unfavorable circumstance thrown our way. For most the common responses are denial and rejection. When things don’t go as planned or when an unforeseen hitch nudges us out of our sense of control, we immediately place the responsibility on external forces or shout such injustices through blaming. In our belief that this approach can make amends, we’ve become adamant of this unhealthy response; we continue this practice despite the fact that it does nothing to improve the situation. In the long run, we find ourselves mired in bitterness, confused as to the reason of our misery.
What is disappointment and why must we experience its uncompromising sting? Does it serve any purpose other than the experience of betrayal? Is there something to gain out of this chaos?
The above-posed questions are what oftentimes bother our minds about the true intention of disappointment. With our illusion of dominance above everything, we take pride in our belief that the force of our existence is the only determining force that can shape the events happening unto our lives. Little is our awareness of the fact that there are other forces much powerful that greatly affects the unfolding of life. Without any clear understanding of this truth, disappointments will assume its enigmatic stance. Dealing with disappointment I’ve learned is the best approach to gain something positive out of a seeming negative circumstance.
Being human espouses fallibility. Therefore, anything done under our influence can never be without fault; perfection solely belongs to the domain of the divine. In our effort to gain full control of every situation happening into our lives, we have forgotten the mechanics of chaos over which our existence is subjected. Tolerance we have denied ourselves when dealing with our thwarted expectations. Consequently, we have blinded ourselves of seeing the other side of disappointments.
“What other side do you mean? Disappointments are nothing more than an unwanted experience. What good can it possibly have?” These questions may have brewed on your minds while in the background I’ve been suspected as a crackpot—I hope not J. An old mantra states that things are not what they always seem. If we stop resisting and start seeing we can go beyond the ugly veil of disappointments to see its underlying purpose, to wit:
We don’t have to settle ourselves with our habitual negative perception of disappointments. Instead, we should be wise enough to maneuver ourselves from our preordained beliefs and open our mind to see the bigger picture. Keep in mind that disappointments are part of our lives, whether we like it or not. If we continue to deny this fact, we’ll never get pass by it. By changing our perception about this experience, our negative connotation associated with disappointments will falter. Then a new perspective will dawn, one that is founded on understanding rather than of confusion. In the process, we will realize our lack and our mistakes. We will see our own shortcomings rather than of others. We will learn to abide rather than to dominate.
So the next time you are bothered by disappointments, look within yourself and consider the following:
Wisdom comes in many forms, and one of them is through disappointments.
“Man must be disappointed with the lesser things of life before he can comprehend the full value of the greater.”
–Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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