Life is all lessons…ignorance is not a destiny…
Failures I have always been beleaguered at moments less seldom, but never did I accept the lure of wallowing in defeat. Going back to the events of my past, I come to understand the inevitable setbacks. Even as a child, I have learned that any aspiration carries with it the experience of disappointments. Having to experience the uncomfortable feeling failure, it is all too easy to be mired in defeat, yet I have learned that doing so eliminates my chance of achieving, as well as betray the call of perseverance, hope and faith.
At certain points in our lives, we are all tested, more so when we are pursuing our aspirations. Most of the time, propitious circumstances go against the swift execution of our plans. Consequently, we feel bad about it and thus we classify such event as failure. To the wise however, there are lessons to be learned; to a fool on the other hand, the game is to find something to blame. Such has been the endless circle of man’s approach in the pursuance of his endeavors.
Failures, setbacks and disappointments are the winds of change beckoning the need for self evaluation. Resting upon defeat however robs us of any chance for improvement. It is unfortunate that most of us have unconsciously settled on the weeds of defeat. We made the mistake of believing that our failures are manifestations of our inability to achieve. Such lie creeps into our minds until we incorporate them as habits; thus when presented with challenge, we dismiss ourselves as lacking—never giving ourselves a chance to make an effort. The result then is that this world is full of dreamers and few of doers.
Defeat has been so venerated by many people that many end up in squalor. Instead of facing life’s challenges, we seek external salvations through the taboos of false faith, quick fixes, precarious lifestyle, booze and material endeavors. The more we submerge ourselves in defeat, the more we lead a meaningless existence.
Wallowing in defeat comes in many forms and it will always be our choice to either embrace or despise it.
One common form is giving up. So ubiquitous is this attitude in our present time that many end up in misery. Perhaps the many comforting alternatives of our current progress have made giving up and enticing option. Why force myself to struggle when I can just give up and go to the nearest bar and numb myself; or perhaps I can ensconce myself in my favorite couch and put all my time playing video games, watching movies or senseless online activities; or maybe I can merrily blame everything in my moments of highness with dope. Who needs the uncomfortable experience of perseverance when defeat is much enjoyable? Does this sound all too familiar? What happens then when you wake up in the morning? For me it is the feeling of emptiness and the itching to resume my frenetic activities.
Another form is laziness. Being stagnant brings no benefit but decadence—a living dead to put it harshly. More than anything else, laziness is the inability to make any attempts, not even an iota of action. Though some people may have not have this attitude in the beginning, certain events in their past may have triggered this response—major failures, bitter experiences of unforgettable embarrassments. By defeating ourselves through laziness, certain it is our bleak future.
Fear is yet another but more powerful form of wallowing in defeat. Allowing ourselves this false admonition has prevented us from discovering what could have been. We prefer to seclude ourselves on our familiar yet limited horizons and denying ourselves the chance to explore our unlimited potentials. Although fear provide us with some benefits, it has, more often than not, chain us from taking any risk.
Consider a brief moment for yourself and make an analysis about your current lot in life. Are you living within the safety of your own familiar ways of are you doing something to explore the unfounded part of yourself? Having to live in the familiar will cause stagnation, therefore settling in defeat. Embarking on the unknown on other hand provides us with the opportunity to expand our horizon, hence, an opportunity for learning and growth. How we live will always be on our hands. But living in defeat voids the blessing of our existence. Therefore, one must step above all defeats.
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Yes, I do get the self-talk of fear that wants to hold me back sometimes, but I have to push that aside to keep going. I have a few hefty goals I’m working on and slowly I get enough courage to persevere through each one. It also helps me to have a “victory” log which is a list of other major accomplishments in my life!
You are wise not to take heed of fear. Far better it is to take action despite our fear than to remain on our perceived “safety.” After all, life is short to be stagnant.
“By defeating ourselves through laziness, certain it is our bleak future.” You got that right. “Keep it movin’” has been one of my mantras lately. If we are lazy we will be left behind, and it just makes catching up that much harder to do.
Leading a life of laziness is a waste of our existence. We are here in this life to explore our capabilities as well as experience its challenges.
Hi Walter,
Here we sit on a Saturday evening… and, the people I am gathered with happened to be in the mood for me to read your article aloud.
We resonate with having lived through the ‘uncomfortable experience of perseverance’ when blame, laziness, and fear with its familiarities were easy, simple, and deceivingly painless. We acknowledge these easily catch up with us sooner or later.
There is a lively conversation I need to rejoin. Thank you for providing the thoughtful topic.
Take care.
Thank you Kim for making my post a subject of a meaningful discussion. I have been contemplating about this subject with respect to the life I’m leading, and I have realized the error for which I have been led. I’m glad I have made an analysis about this fact of life.
Hi Walter, I love your blog. I have just discovered you after you visited my blog, thankyou for that.
I have never considered things as defeats, only opportunities to grow and learn. There are so many positive things that come out of our life happenings and sometimes we have to take the view that a different pathway is the right one for us, therefore nothing should be considered a deafeat, just a pointer in the right direction.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Seldom are those who see defeats as you do. In my case, it has evolved in me through hard lessons. Defeat are indeed opportunity and I’m happy to have finally seen it this way.
I liked this post…you made me look at my own times when defeat has sat heavily on my head. I am slowly learning, however, the shake her off more often and send her to her corner for bad behavior:~)
I always had my share of defeat more often, but I have come to evolve with respect to my response to it. I’m glad to have learned that each defeat brings forth the gift of learning.
I feel as if failure is just one more step towards reaching our final destination. I’ve always been a believer of the fact that we often learn MORE from our failures than we do our successes. Once we can come to terms with this, we can appreciate the fact that failure is merely a PART of our success and nothing less.
Travis´s last blog ..Niche Blogs
I can’t agree more with this Travis. Failure and success are two different faces of the same coin, one cannot be without the other.
Nice post. I am currently in the moment facing my fears as we speak. Not really sure where this path will lead. It feels that this uncertainty that I am currently in at the moment, is really making me look totatly within for answers to questions, thus I feel developing my inner strength. This inner strength builds more understanding and courage when faced with temporary “defeat” in the future.
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Our mind fears uncertainty, but it is the nature of our true self to face the unknown. By your actions, you have taken heed the call of your true self than allowing the false admonitions of your fear. Triumph despises fear but stagnancy embraces it.
love this post. I’ve been battling my mind with overcoming defeat myself. mainly because i’ve Paused on moving toward my goals after being rejected. So now I’m sharpening my skills before I jump back in. I’m not going to allow myself to sit around fearful of future failures or being lazy any longer.
LenciB: fallingintofavor´s last blog ..The Resurrection of Easter
Nothing will be gained if we succumb on our defeat. Let us all remember that any failures we experience are just a means of refining ourselves–provided that we stand up every time we fall.
Great thoughts here. So many people do give up at the first sniff of defeat. They use the ‘failure” as a means of justifying giving up too instead of making it a learning tool that takes them one step further on their path to success.
Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot´s last blog ..3 Ways to Inject New Life Into Your Life or Blog
Embracing defeat has been an easy escape for many. Little did these people know that failures hold priceless wisdom if we step above it.
Failure is something we all need to start embracing… it’s not an ugly monster we think it is. Failure teaches you lessons, lessons that cannot be bought or learned.
Failures lead to success.
Moon Hussain´s last blog ..A Conversation That I Will Remember For the Rest of My Life
Right you are on this Moon. Beyond the unattractiveness of failure lies a gem of priceless wisdom.
Walter,
I think it’s personal inventory day! This is so true and I can find myself in bits and pieces throughout my life. I love that Kim is reading it to friends on Saturday night. It says a lot about her doesn’t it? Thanks for the reflection and I’m so happy to know I can visit these camps…it’s human but I never want to set up a tent there. You rock!
Thank you Tess, I’m glad I have provided you with some reflections.
Hi Walter, another thought provoking topic. I love reading your blog – and thank you so much for visiting mine. Defeat is a hard road to walk, but as you point out the positives of analyzing why we might have failed to accomplish what we set out to do and then reapplying our efforts to trying again, far out-weigh the negatives.
I had another blog I started 2 years ago that grew very high in the rankings. It was about finance – since I have long career as a financial expert. The trouble was that I lost steam after a while and wasn’t enthusiastic about posting. I started analyzing why and realized that I wasn’t passionate about the subject matter. So, now I have started from scratch all over again with Mystic Musings & Meditations. The topic of using your mind to it’s fullest capabilities appeals to me so much more. Thanks for another great post.
Angela Artemis´s last blog ..Infidelity and Intuition: Will You Know if Your Spouse Is Cheating?
Every defeat that we encounter in life has its lessons. Instead of wallowing in frustration we have to pick up the good pieces and move on. We are not meant to waste our lives defeated, we are here to live our lives to the fullest.
I truly did enjoy the post. Stepping of defeat is accepting that what seems to be set backs are a normally part of successful journey. I have another take on fear though. Here it is, “Courage is not about being foolhardy, reckless, or arrogant, courage is about knowing fear and making the decision to press on with faith”
Vonzel “Maxafier”
Stepping above defeat is a necessity for us to succeed. Without this knowing we cannot achieve anything.
To be honest I am one of these people that simply want to keep on learning. I am reading lots of books which I believe are expanding my horizon. I think life is very much about getting to know yourself better and also to never stop learning.
You should be open to new experiences.
Julius Kuhn-Regnier´s last blog ..How to Become More Productive
It is good to have an attitude of learning. Without this yearning for wisdom, our horizon will never expand.
Absolutely. Wisdom is to learn from our setbacks. Foolishness is to look to someone to blame.
When I was young, I was taught that taking responsibility for our choices is part of being an adult. Unfortunately, in this day and age, that’s become less and less common even among adults.
Alison Moore Smith´s last blog ..Three More Ways to Stay
It is indeed unfortunate that adults these days have never really grown to maturity. Taking responsibility for our failures is the most important step we can do to survive from it.
This was a fabulous post, and a mentality I think the world would be better off adopting! I was guilty of spending a few years “giving up” until I realised the power to change what I didn’t like about my life lay solely with me – I had the ability to make the choice to do something about it, rather than giving in and resigning myself to the status quo. And life has been infinitely better because of it
There is a quote I really like – when looking at the hard times in our life, we can choose to become bitter about them, or become better because of them. 
Emily Jane´s last blog ..Quickhits of Happy 
I always believe that blessings comes to those who helped themselves. By giving up, we miss the opportunity of discovering a better path.
Hi Walter,
I believe the reason some people become stagnant and are not fully alive is due to depression or lack of self-confidence.
While there are many reasons to give up, as you say, and not grow in our personal and professional life, as adults we get to CHOOSE to forge a path in life that is filled with life and love.
Excellent points as always.
Lauren´s last blog ..Can You Think Outside the Box?
Depression and lack of confidence are dangerous traps all of us should avoid. Within us is the capacity to choose our path, just as you have said. We only need to make a choice of forging the path of life and love, or else we’ll stagnate in misery.
Fantastic post, Walter! I am in total agreement with you!
We need to believe that hard work is a requirement in life. Avoiding hard work — avoiding challenges — is a sure way to waste away our life.
Whenever I find myself idle, I ask myself, “Why are you idle? Are you waiting for something? Waiting for death perhaps?”, and then I quickly jump into action (even if that “action” is simply thinking creatively, doing deep introspection, or otherwise making use of my brain).
Raam Dev´s last blog ..My First $100 in India and a Message of Thanks
You’ve got a powerful motivator Raam. In my case, I always think of death whenever I find myself mired in defeat or idleness. This thought makes me realize that life is short to waste in misery.
Very well done. Defeat is really a state of mind. We choose how we respond to not achieving that which we attempt. We can choose as you said to wallow in defeat or we can extrapolate the lesson and try again and again or do course correction. Great article.
Mark´s last blog ..Love – It Gives You Wings!
Walter,
What a wonderful post about stepping above defeat. The world becomes so richer in content when you can release those old programs and step into the glory of your being. Thanks for sharing,
Val
Val Wilcox´s last blog ..I See YOU!