Comments on: Selfishness under the pretense of love http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love Life is all lessons...ignorance is not a destiny... Wed, 28 Jul 2010 07:33:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=8386 hourly 1 By: Entourage http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-2218 Entourage Tue, 04 May 2010 10:47:02 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-2218 Smile is the shortest distance between two people. so Real power does not hit hard , but straight to the point. Smile is the shortest distance between two people. so Real power does not hit hard , but straight to the point.

]]> By: The Ultimate 40 Posts For Valentine’s Day | Make It Happen http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1455 The Ultimate 40 Posts For Valentine’s Day | Make It Happen Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:17:49 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1455 [...] 28. Selfishness under the pretense of love [...] [...] 28. Selfishness under the pretense of love [...]

]]> By: Renz http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1430 Renz Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:46:14 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1430 lengthy post but full of sense. Thanks for sharing. I agree with you. Sometimes, it's already selfishness that we feel towards others. You think it's love but it's no longer love. True love is, you should care about how others feel and not your own feelings. Well, that's just my opinion though. lengthy post but full of sense. Thanks for sharing. I agree with you. Sometimes, it’s already selfishness that we feel towards others. You think it’s love but it’s no longer love. True love is, you should care about how others feel and not your own feelings. Well, that’s just my opinion though.

]]> By: Walter http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1401 Walter Sat, 06 Feb 2010 13:03:01 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1401 I'm glad Armen of your observation. Having experienced this personally, I felt that I must share it to others in order to avoid committing these errors. Our loved one's are the people who suffer the most. :-) I’m glad Armen of your observation. Having experienced this personally, I felt that I must share it to others in order to avoid committing these errors. Our loved one’s are the people who suffer the most. :-)

]]> By: Walter http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1400 Walter Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:58:23 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1400 Congratulations Meg on your engagement. Heavenly isn't it? :-) There are many things you will learn when you get married. Believe me, your first challenge will be the adjustment period; then the part that you must grow together. Marriage is one of the most powerful avenue for personal growth. And I believe you will grow old together. :-) Congratulations Meg on your engagement. Heavenly isn’t it? :-)

There are many things you will learn when you get married. Believe me, your first challenge will be the adjustment period; then the part that you must grow together.

Marriage is one of the most powerful avenue for personal growth. And I believe you will grow old together. :-)

]]> By: Armen Shirvanian http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1399 Armen Shirvanian Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:05:11 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1399 Hi Walter. You took a valid point and presented some hard-hitting examples there. The husband who works a bit harder sure could be doing it less for his family and more for his own feeling of position. The children examples also is fitting here, as children are left empty in some respects, and then are expected to have filled those gaps by themselves. Fake love doesn't transmit any positive emotional energy. Hi Walter.

You took a valid point and presented some hard-hitting examples there. The husband who works a bit harder sure could be doing it less for his family and more for his own feeling of position. The children examples also is fitting here, as children are left empty in some respects, and then are expected to have filled those gaps by themselves. Fake love doesn’t transmit any positive emotional energy.

]]> By: Walter http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1398 Walter Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:36:05 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1398 You are right Ben. One characteristic of love is that it is never selfish. :-) You are right Ben. One characteristic of love is that it is never selfish. :-)

]]> By: Meg http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1397 Meg Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:35:47 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1397 Hi Walter, Great stuff! As I recently got engaged, my fiance and I have been delving into the idea of differentiation, which is the idea that it is not helpful to be emotionally fused in a relationship, and that compromising yourself and your values creates the illusion of intimacy, but is not TRUE intimacy. Instead, deepest intimacy can be found by working to develop your own sense of self and sharing that with your partner. :-) :-) It seems that selfishness and sacrifice are on two opposing sides of the spectrum, and that we need to find our balance along that thin dividing line between selfishly acting out our own needs, and bending your will and values completely in order to have the illusion of intimacy with your partner... Its certainly a gray area in relationships, and people can have similar misconceptions about showing their love on either side of the spectrum. I certainly admire those who have figured out this dance in their relationships and marriages, and look forward to our journey of marriage ahead! Thanks for the thought-provoking article! :) ~Meg Hi Walter,

Great stuff! As I recently got engaged, my fiance and I have been delving into the idea of differentiation, which is the idea that it is not helpful to be emotionally fused in a relationship, and that compromising yourself and your values creates the illusion of intimacy, but is not TRUE intimacy. Instead, deepest intimacy can be found by working to develop your own sense of self and sharing that with your partner. :-) :-)

It seems that selfishness and sacrifice are on two opposing sides of the spectrum, and that we need to find our balance along that thin dividing line between selfishly acting out our own needs, and bending your will and values completely in order to have the illusion of intimacy with your partner…

Its certainly a gray area in relationships, and people can have similar misconceptions about showing their love on either side of the spectrum.

I certainly admire those who have figured out this dance in their relationships and marriages, and look forward to our journey of marriage ahead!

Thanks for the thought-provoking article! :) ~Meg

]]> By: Walter http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1396 Walter Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:32:46 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1396 Well, we are all guilty of this. The important thing though is that we should be aware of this. :-) Well, we are all guilty of this. The important thing though is that we should be aware of this. :-)

]]> By: Walter http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/29/selfishness-under-the-pretense-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1395 Walter Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:31:22 +0000 http://www.lionslinger.com/?p=738#comment-1395 If give and take should take place under the premise balance, the it's worth the pursuit. :-) If give and take should take place under the premise balance, the it’s worth the pursuit. :-)

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