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Criticism: the unwanted mentor

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I reckon that we are all familiar with the concept of criticism. Most of the time, in our everyday encounter with life we unconsciously execute this prejudicial attitude in our civilities with people as well as interpreting events. Ironically, it’s easy for us to throw criticisms on others but hate it when we are subjected to the experience; we find it hard to entertain any challenges to our principles upon which we pattern our approach in life—some of us are even obstinate and arrogant in furthering this attitude. There are many contributory factors that lead us to respond this way, for sure one of them is our ever influential ego.

Nobody wants to be criticized and many will go into great lengths to counter its self-depreciating sting. As much as possible we want everything to be in accordance with our plane of understanding, any threat on this account prompts us to retaliate by insisting on the plausibility of our introspection.

What if we take criticism in a different perspective? Instead of looking at it as an attack on our pride, why not perceive it in a positive or contributory way? Criticism has hidden benefits if we allow ourselves brief consideration; despite our tendency to be annoyed or to be defensive, we should allow ourselves to see its beneficial aspect. Instead of expunging, it would be better to take it as some form of learning or opportunity for improvement. But this doesn’t mean that we should consider every criticism that comes our way, we should of course separate the substantive from the nonsense.

In every process of learning, we should let go of our bigotry. The more arrogant we are in our obstinacy, the more we are furthered from the opportunity of understanding. Irrespective of the unfriendly gestures we see in criticism, we must shun the suggestion of invalidation in order to explore the benefits we may earn from taking criticisms into consideration. Though it’s difficult to swallow our pride, it is for our own gain if we take into account the fact that we may have erred in some aspects of our beliefs which we hold true. After all, being human is never without a flaw.

Whatever station we are in life, it is imperative that we learn to accept the wisdom behind any criticisms that are thrown upon us. It is easy to adopt a belligerent response against criticisms. Instead of adopting the wise approach of inner query, we chose to be stubborn. As a consequence, we’ve become adamant in our foolish ways. Since our mind refuses to accept any derogatory attempts on our venerated principles, we become stunted, the opportunity for expanding our horizons has vanquished. We kept on doing our old false ways and committing the same mistakes without any chance for improvement.

There’s no harm in accepting our flaws, especially if it is for our own good. Part of any process of growth is the experience of discomfort and resistance, but we must learn to make a struggle in confronting the belief systems that stifles our growth. This belief system that we had on our mind is one of the biggest hindrance in our effort to instill new ways of seeing things. During the time of the famous astronomer Nicolas Copernicus, everybody believed that our world is the center of the universe, except for the astronomer himself. Despite the fact that he has evidence to support his claim, many were stubborn to consider his findings. Throughout history, nothing has changed when it comes to this human stigma. The same gravity of unyielding is ever present when our beliefs and principle are put into question.

I have encountered many criticisms in my life, but despite the subtle beckoning of perusal at the back of my mind I have chosen to be stubborn in sticking with my old ways. A time has come though when I’m forced to look upon myself and test the applicability of some of the criticisms thrown unto me. At first I find it hard to accept my errors; I don’t want to believe I have made wrong interpretations about certain principle and beliefs. This experience has made caught the unsolicited and invisible force that’s overriding my judgment in accepting the unfamiliar. It is then that I understand the truth that we are creatures of habit. Our habits hamper our ability to accept the foreign. Never would I have realized this fact had I not see the mentor behind each criticism.

Maybe some of us will never want to embrace criticism; perhaps we will never see the good in it. But what if we are experiencing discordance in our life? Whatever we do or whatever aspirations we set upon ourselves seems to end up in vain; we are unhappy, we are unsatisfied and complacency managed to elude us every time we seek it. Would you allow this kind of life to prosper? I’m sure you won’t. But are you doing something about it? Have you criticized yourself lately? If not then you’re a fool. Part of our growth is the constant reevaluation of our self. Let us now wait for others to make criticism; more than being a duty, we ought to ourselves our improvement. Living like a fool is something we should look into, lest we want to deteriorate into believing we are otherwise.

I pass the ball to you. What’s your say on this?

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”

–Winston Churchill


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DO YOURSELF A FAVOR. GROW IN SPIRIT:

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P.S.

Our lifetime is not enough to know all the experiences of life. Therefore, we need to have other sources in maximizing our understanding of the many facets of our existence. In this regard I am bound to share with you the most powerful materials that have shaken my foundation and have changed my life as well as the lives of many.

Life is full of questions but I have found answers in perusing the books: The Road Less Traveled, Man’s Search for Meaning and The Power of Now, these has given me light on the deepest nature of man. Still, in searching for ways of enhancing my life I have found: Think and Grow Rich, The Magic of Thinking Big and Thick Face Black Heart. In matters of understanding my mind I was greatly enlightened by the suspense filled novel’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior, A Rich Man’s Secret and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. And finally, I have understood the pattern of my finances through reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.

Everything we wish in life will come upon us if we first seek the wisdom of knowing.

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71 Responses to “Criticism: the unwanted mentor”

  1. Steve Youngs says:

    Hi Walter!

    I try to view all criticism, both positive and negative, as good. Unless, of course, it is the nonsense kind. What I find that helps me with the negative criticism is that I try to put myself into the shoes of the person giving it. Try to see the issue from their point of view.

    Strangely enough, I get worried when I don’t get any negative criticism of the things that I do. :-)

    On the other side of the coin, it can be just as hard to give criticism as it is to receive it. If you can give negative criticism and at the same time stroke their ego, you’ve got it right. :-)

    Kind regards,
    Steve.
    .-= Steve Youngs´s last blog ..Keeping It In The Family =-.

    • Walter says:

      That’s a very good approach on criticism Steve. It’s part of our learning to see what other see of us, if it’s for our benefit then we should take heed. Giving our criticisms on the other hand requires judicious approach with noble intention. :-)

    • On giving criticism… I first learned in a management seminar I took many years ago. When you need to criticize a subordinate for something; first point out a positive they bring to the table. Then bring up the situation that needs to be remedied/improved/corrected. On concluding the discussion remind them again of the positive they do bring to the table and thank them for that and the attention you know they will bring to the situation you just discussed.

      Cheers,
      Paul
      .-= Paul MacPherson´s last blog ..Temporary Post — please ignore =-.

  2. Gordie says:

    I try to only give constructive criticism. I only criticize in order to improve someone. I never criticize with the purpose of bringing them down and lowering their spirit.
    .-= Gordie´s last blog ..Why Haven’t You Achieved Your Biggest Goal Yet? =-.

  3. Annemieke says:

    That was an interesting article, that really got me thinking.

    I think there is a very fine line between criticism, feedback and judging. They all have their place, but I am not so sure criticising and judging another person is of much use as only to get the other defensive.

    Personally I think it often says more about the one who is giving it, then the one receiving it.

    Feedback is great, but still only if the situation is suitable for that (parents / children, teacher / pupil or if someone asks for it).

    If it is about the actions (or lack there of) by others that bother you, the only way to do it (in my very personal opinion) is to say what are the problems you yourself have with that behaviour.

    But that does not mean that criticism is not important. I think it really is, but never on a personal level, always purely about ideas. And the only way to criticise those ideas with others, is if you totally respect each other.

    Just my view at this moment.
    .-= Annemieke´s last blog ..Three Subconscious Levels =-.

    • Walter says:

      Being defensive is our common response to criticisms, others ignore it. However, we should look at it objectively and not allow our emotions to override the necessity for deep examination. It is for our own good to consider a worthy criticism, but when criticisms thrown upon us are senseless, then the problems lies with the one who is criticizing; perhaps he’s the one who should be criticized.

      I certainly agree with you about respect. Such is the best premise for criticizing. :-)

  4. ayo says:

    hi walter,

    i agree with annemieke on the fineline between criticism, feedback and judging.

    i feel constructive criticism is important because theres always a room for improvement, an alternative method/way of doing things, a way to crossexamine ones methods or actions.

    i also think that whoever sets out to criticize you constructively means no harm and you can see through their intentions while negative critics or complete fault finders are out to put you down always.

    when you take time out to think of the constructive criticism no matter how hard it seems, there are many things you can take on board and i’ve benefitted a lot from constructive criticism.

    on the other hand i think people can also recognize when someone is being judgemental or nasty to them with their views.

    but then again how do you define constructive criticism because it’s relative.

    thanks for this post walter.
    .-= ayo´s last blog ..Just Calm Down!!! =-.

    • Walter says:

      As what I’ve said, we should see criticisms objectively. If we allow our ego for perusal, then we would interpret it as an attack of judgment. However, when we are wise enough, we will pick the lessons incorporated in worthy criticisms. :-)

  5. Hi Walter.

    After I wake up, I like to chew on a criticism sandwich and drink some water with it. Any criticism is usually good for us, because it shows that someone cares enough to say something.

    When I hear it, I don’t take any negativity in it as directed at me as a person, but at me based on one or more of my actions. This is where learning can occur.

    That line of yours that says “If not then you’re a fool” about if we aren’t criticizing ourselves was funny. It seems on the right track, though.
    .-= Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Shake Good Memories Before They Harden =-.

    • Walter says:

      Exactly right Armen, criticisms should not be taken negative but instead objectively. More often than not, we are unaware of our actions that are detrimental to our well-being; so a good dose of criticism regarding this fact is beneficial. :-)

  6. Hi Walter,

    Criticism is a vital tool for growing. The key is to determine if the criticism is constructive or destructive. Some people are just plain negative and want to rip others to shreds. Others often have your best interest in mind. The key is to distinguish the two.

    So my rule is to just listen to what someone has to say and see if there is any merit in what they are telling me.

    A secure person is open to hearing suggestions. None of us are perfect and we all have room for improvement. So the more we love ourselves, the easier it is to listen and learn from other people. :)

    • Walter says:

      Indeed criticism is vital for growing. If one is wise, he/she should keep an open mind and take criticisms as opportunities for self-examination. Constructive or destructive, we should pick up some lessons that we might learn. We should never let our emotions control our approach. :-)

  7. SBA says:

    We’ve made ‘criticize’ a bad word. You mentioned ‘mentor’ in the title — one of the benefits of having a mentor is the objective critique. We can gain insight from someone else’s analysis of our actions and decision making. Change could be as simple as communicating better (managing expectations) or doing more research before the final pass.

    I see criticism as a chance to broaden your perspective and communicate better. We can’t please everyone but at least the critic who tells you what’s wrong gives you a chance to ‘correct’ unintentional negative impressions — if you want to!
    .-= SBA´s last blog ..How to Use Maintenance Mode Plugin as Coming Soon Announcement =-.

    • Walter says:

      Perhaps the very fact that we perceive criticism as an attack has conferred it a bad label. But we should go beyond the dictum of our ego and try (though it may be hard) to give criticisms some consideration. Since we’re not perfect, we should be open to accept any improvements. :-)

  8. Aaron says:

    Hi Walter,

    I have to agree with what Nadia mentioned. I think part of our perception(constructive criticism or judgmental fault finding)comes from who is doing the criticizing and how it is presented. You can usually tell if someone is informing you of something that can be improved, or if they are just telling you what they don’t like or agree with to put you down. Either way you need to step back and investigate the comments from your critics. And why they are telling you.
    .-= Aaron´s last blog ..So Mark McGwire took steroids… =-.

    • Walter says:

      Most of the time, we don’t want to distinguish between constructive or judgmental criticism, we automatically become defensive. Perhaps we can allow our minds to do its reactionary instincts but then later, we must put into consideration the fact that we can learn something from criticisms thrown upon us. We can learn a lot of things if we keep an objective perspective. :-)

  9. I find there is always a reason why when criticism particularly stings. often upon reflection I find that I’ve thought the same thing about myself and the critic is really just a channel to help me to remember a needed point of adjustment.

    I like what you’ve written. I inspires me to remember that life is all good, especially when we look for the good.
    .-= Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog ..Live Big or Die Small =-.

    • Walter says:

      Life has its means to communicate with us. One of them is, as you have stated, channels; on my understanding I call them instruments. Everything that happens to us–be it positive or negative–has reasons, instead of resisting it, we should look into it and find the message, because it always has. :-)

  10. Mike says:

    Hi Walter. I agree I think acknowledging our short comings can be healthy and lead us to become a better person. When we deny our problems it becomes impossible to overcome them.

    Mike

    • Walter says:

      We humans are expert in denying. When it comes to the challenge of understanding, we shut ourselves. Thus, we have only compounded our confusion. :-)

  11. Patricia says:

    I am back to the constructive vs destructive elements of criticism. I think there is a lot of word play here and vocabulary salad, but I truly like Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent or Compassionate communications model. It works well to stop the presses of self- criticism and also to truly do connective communication when a change is needed to improve a situation.

    I was just caught up in a situation where the suggestions I was making, as in brainstorming, were interpreted by one group member as I was depressed, and by another as negative criticism. I had to wonder what had happened, because I was asked what the group needed to do, in my opinion, to attract younger members and I shared 3 things that I had discovered others were doing to get new members…but the responses turned out to be wonderful for me and my decision processes. I could see that this group was not connecting with me/ nor I with them and the masks of the relationship were removed. After care full thinking I have just let go of this group and see how it was holding me back from my own success…

    You make some very thought provoking discussion here. Thank you

    • Walter says:

      Any interpretation conferred upon our actions must be perceived objectively. If we allow our emotions to make an interpretation, we would only be confused. I’m sorry about the vocabulary salad, some words I found very appropriate despite its defiance of simplicity. :-)

  12. Jeanne says:

    Kudos, Walter, for a great post / subject! I think one true master of teaching ‘how to criticize’ (the constructive kind) is the Toastmasters organization. There I learned the art of offering praise before offering constructive suggestions for improvement. A great part of this art is listening to the one speaking, and that of course includes the body language.

    My flaw: I don’t LIKE to offer criticism, even of the constructive kind — because I’m not terrribly confident I can pull it off without hurting someone’s feelings. Rats!
    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..The Four-Trunk Tree =-.

    • Walter says:

      Thanks Jeanne. Offering praise before giving constructive suggestion is an effective strategy to prevent us from being defensive. However, most people just throws criticism in our most unguarded circumstance, thus making us reactive. Maybe we should learn to see criticism on a different perspective, one that is positive and objective; and not on the emotional realm. :-)

    • Madeleine says:

      Walter, This is an important topic which has provoked some great comments.Like Jeanne, I’ve learned a lot about “criticism” in Toastmasters by giving and receiving feedback on speeches.

      The general approach is first to tell a speaker what he did well (in your opinion), then to offer suggestions to make the speech even better. People improve quite remarkably with this approach, and almost no one feels defensive or attacked.

  13. Alien Ghost says:

    Hi Walter,

    Personally I believe that we tend to reject criticism in the same proportion of how unsecured we are.

    If we are not sure what we are doing we tend to classify criticism as a negative and destructive attack, but if we know what we do, we consider the same criticism as another perspective to be analyzed and absorbed for our own personal growth.

    The matter is a lot more complicated than that of course, but what I’ve seen is that it becomes a circle: the less secure you feel about you, the less criticism you will take (good or bad)and the less self growth you will experience, and the better you feel about yourself, the more openly you will consider what other might say thus the more and faster your personal growth will be.

    An open mind is a patient mind, which in turn becomes a loving mind.

    Raul
    .-= Alien Ghost´s last blog ..Name Branding =-.

    • Walter says:

      You have shared a fine point. Indeed if we are not secure of our self we tend to resist criticism. I believe that we must know ourselves first before we can accept any process of personal growth. For that matter, it is wise to allow ourselves deep examination. :-)

  14. Hi Walter,

    I don’t like to receive criticism, thus I prefer not to dish it out. I also find, it’s not necessarily what someone says, but how they say it. If it’s said with love and concern, that’s one thing, but if it’s meant to hurt, I don’t feel that’s right.

    For me it goes back to that old saying, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”.
    .-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Inquiring Minds Want To Know =-.

    • Walter says:

      I share your concern about criticism. But oftentimes much of the criticisms we get comes not out of love or concern, but rather from observation from others. Much as I hate to experience it, I just rely on seeing it objectively; perhaps I can get something positive from it. :-)

  15. Criticism is sometimes a really hard pill to swallow, but necessary all the same. I agree with you, who wants to get stuck in a rut of false beliefs and perceptions…I am all about growing even if it means my pride is injured for a minute! Thanks for visiting my blog–I appreciate your comments and agree whole-heartedly!
    .-= Christy Cross´s last blog ..The Wisdom of Yo Gabba Gabba, eh maybe… =-.

    • Walter says:

      Growth necessitates the discomfort of letting go of our false beliefs. Even though criticism can be a slap, we should take it if it will benefit us in the long run. :-)

  16. Vance Sova says:

    Hi Walter,

    The only criticism that is valid and should be deeply considered is constructive criticism.

    I think that more harm has been done with hostile or even inconsiderate criticism than good.

    And sometimes people criticize with the wrong attitude only to say they didn’t mean it when confronted even years later.

    Children especially shouldn’t be criticized harshly but always constructively and with the right attitude.

    On the flip side of this there is indeed the need to take constructive criticism to heart.

    It can help us become better.

    There are people who refuse to give any criticism at all.

    I’ve even asked to be constructively criticized when learning a language and a lot of native speakers of it refused to point out to me when I misplaced an accent or didn’t construct a sentence correctly in spite of my asking them to.

    They wanted to be nice even at the expense of not being helpful.

    I always want to know where people are coming from.

    Even if it’s not always pleasant to hear of my shortcomings, I do welcome constructive criticism which enables me to do the necessary corrections.

    Vance
    .-= Vance Sova´s last blog ..Earn Money Blogging, Get Traffic Without SEO, True Or False? =-.

    • Walter says:

      Constructive criticism must be put into consideration for our own good and I agree with you on this. In my observation though, there are well-meaning criticisms thrown unto us in an unpleasant manner, to which we reply with hostility or deaf ears. I believe that we should treat criticism objectively and not allow our emotions for interpretation. Life is all lessons, let us always look at the bigger picture. :-)

  17. Nice post!
    First of all we need to be open to criticism. How do we get to that place? Somewhere in our core we realize something isn’t quite right. Maybe how we treat others, or that we’re lazy or we just don’t understand something. Knowing that we “don’t know” is the first step to learning and growth.
    Otherwise criticism falls on deaf ears.

    • Walter says:

      Being wise enough to admit that we are not perfect can open our minds to learning. Unfortunately, most of us are stubborn to change are erroneous ways; we rather cling to our self-righteous egos. :-)

  18. VanillaSeven says:

    Walter, I agree with you that even its painful and difficult to swallow, certain degree of criticism is good to push someone to do better.
    .-= VanillaSeven´s last blog ..Loneliness =-.

  19. Hi Walter -

    Thanks for an insightful post on criticism. It is a delicate balance to strike between external perceptions of us and our internal self-image. It is tempting to say that we can only control our own actions, and manage our own thoughts, so we should ignore the uncontrollable external world. However, this self-centered world view ignores the richness and learning we can get from other people. I think the key is to take external feedback with caution. Intuition is a great tool to determine which feedback fits with our authentic self and makes us better and which may simply be destructive. Thanks for making me think!

    Phil

    • Walter says:

      Approaching criticism with caution and intuition is a good strategy. I believe that the more we are learned the easier it is for us to distinguish what is worth to consider and what is not. Till then, lets look at criticisms and see what we lessons we can pick from it. :-)

  20. I think criticism is necessary. My startup, by nature, gets lots. Both positive and negative. Over time I’ve become better at dealing with it.

  21. Walter, I can only take so much criticism at one time. When I share ideas with people I make sure to ask some critics so I can hear about any red flags that I may have missed. I found that listening to these folks can save me money at times. However, I too can be stubborn in my ways and do not let these folks get in my way. Great post.

    • Walter says:

      It is part of our nature to be stubborn of criticism. But we have the capability to change if we chose to, though it may be hard, it is worth if it pertains to our personal growth. :-)

  22. Angelia Sims says:

    I must admit, I am my own worst critic. I am open to criticism from others unless….it’s a loved one. Why is it so much harder to take? They are probably our best advice givers and definitely our highest supporters.
    I had to learn this lesson after flying off the handle unnecessarily a few times.
    :-)
    Thanks for the thoughts Walter!
    .-= Angelia Sims´s last blog ..NyQuil, Please! I can explain! =-.

    • Walter says:

      I feel the same to when criticism comes from a loved one. I think it is because we trust them to accept us for who we are, and criticism is a sort of betrayal on this trust. Be that as it may, we should never look at criticisms on an emotional level, we should take it objectively and see what benefits we can get from it. :-)

  23. Darn if you don’t make sense to me, I’m giving this a lot of thought great post.

    Dorothy from grammology
    grammology.com
    .-= Dorothy Stahlnecker´s last blog ..John Edwards is such a disappointment =-.

  24. Mark says:

    Very well written. We are well served to open to criticism. It is important as you stated to be able to sort out what is valid and what is not. Sometimes ones criticism of another is more a reflection of themselves than it is a quality of our self that needs to be changed. I agree overall that true growth and change can be accelerated by listening to the thoughts of others and stepping outside ourselves and seeing what others see and making course adjustments accordingly.
    .-= Mark´s last blog ..Get Your Genius On! =-.

    • Walter says:

      Oftentimes, when we encounter something loathsome like criticism, we tend to shut ourselves out. There will always be lesson we can learn from valid criticisms. :-)

  25. Erin says:

    I think we have to want to improve if we are to embrace criticism and feedback. We tend to take things personally and consider anything but positive compliments a direct attack. Often it is not intended that way. Great post today.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Be Strong and Courageous =-.

    • Walter says:

      Self-improvement is a path many doesn’t want to take. The reason for this is that we have to let go of our pride and ego in order to accept new learning. Accepting criticism with openness is not easy, but it is necessary for our growth. :-)

  26. mk akan says:

    criticism is a great opportunity to learn and improve but how we present it to others also matters.subtle criticism whether positive or negative is usually well received.
    .-= mk akan´s last blog ..6 Reasons Why You Need To Take Blog Commenting Seriously =-.

  27. Mark Dykeman says:

    I still find it hard to accept criticism, although there are certain situations which are structured in a relatively painless way to receive feedback.

    However, I’m old enough to realize that constructive criticism is the only way I’m only going to get better at certain things.
    .-= Mark Dykeman´s last blog ..Speedlinking – Jan 22 2010 =-.

    • Walter says:

      Criticism is hard to accept Mark but we must try our best to learn from it. After all, we are the ones who will benefit. :-)

  28. Golf says:

    Walter, you said it right. Criticism is hard to accept. It pains a lot.
    .-= Golf´s last undefined ..Response cached until Sun 31 @ 19:03 GMT (Refreshes in 23.99 Hours) =-.

  29. Wasim says:

    I’ve finally learned to love criticisms coming from others as it is always an opportunity to progress. I did go through a long phase of thinking I just didn’t need to be criticised but also noticed in that time that I seemed to lose interest in things very quickly to. Maybe because I was failing ot challenge myself because if ignoring others trying to help me by criticising.

    Also I think it depends who it is that critising is comeing from.
    .-= Wasim´s last blog ..Fill Up Those Pot Holes =-.

  30. There’s criticism, and then there’s constructive criticism. As a writer, I’m used to both–and let me tell you, constructive criticism is far easier to take. That’s because I know the person is being helpful, wanting me to improve my work, as opposed to just sniping.
    .-= Charlotte Rains Dixon´s last blog ..Lower Your Expectations =-.

    • Walter says:

      I understand your point. But, as I have always pointed out, criticisms should be handled objectively rather than emotionally. :-)

  31. Lindsay says:

    Walter,
    This is post has such perfect timing in my life right now. I recently had been attacked by someone who felt that they were “just trying to help by pointing out my flaws” Now, I am an artist and regularly open myself up for criticism and I am a strong person and really have never had a problem with people telling me, in a constructive way, how to better my self, designs, and bussines

    HOWEVER recently was confronted with an individual who had one or two good points but they were mottled inside of person attacks and just mean spirited-ness (not i word i know). I have never felt so offended and attacked and the person felt the need to say over and over again “This is for your own good.. I’m only saying this to help you better yourself”

    How in the world do you deal with someone who really just loves to put people down in the name of criticism. I seriously can’t, these are the people who don’t make me want to question my own value and self worth but more just make me sad for humanity that there are people out there that get off on trying to make people feel this way. It really just pisses me off and I would love to just question them as to why they do this.

    I have pointed out that their “method” of giving this so-called advice is more useless than it is useful, but that never seems to work. So what in the world do you do with a person like that?
    .-= Lindsay´s last blog ..Mix Tape No. 3 =-.

    • Walter says:

      I understand your predicament here and I have also experienced this kind of criticisms many times in my life. One thing I’ve learned in dealing with it is to see criticisms objectively, and not allow my emotions to mingle with it.

      Let us accept the fact that there are disturbed people who wants to express their discontent of themselves through harshly criticizing others. Here’s the thing, if they see you affected, they have won in their attempt to share their misery unto you; but if you ignore their criticisms and stick to the truth they they are the one’s who needs to be criticized, then you have defeated them in their own game.

      Learn to ignore and have faith in yourself. Don’t let them win by being emotionally disturbed. :-)

  32. Jen says:

    Hi Walter
    Great post. I find accepting criticism hard. I think on some level when we find criticism hard it is because we think the other person(s) is saying there is something wrong with us. If we can separate our reactions from what’s being said, there is a huge growth opportunity.
    Jen

    • Walter says:

      Criticisms do affect us, but if we see it objectively then we are able to learn from it. After all, the more we learn about ourselves the better we become. :-)

  33. Thanks Walter
    Your articles are well written and insightful.. and I haven’t seen them all yet!
    I’m with Barbara, above, on this. I don’t like criticism, and so tend not to dish it out.
    However, I also think that the process of human growth includes an increasing ability to both give and receive help – which is what criticism in a pure form really is.
    I look forward to helping more as I grow more.

    Kind regards
    Anthony

    • Walter says:

      Thanks Anthony, you’ve been very kind. I do believe that criticisms should be seen in a positive way, be it in pure form or not. However, it is much better to perceive it in pure form rather than to cloud it with suspicion. After all, growth comes with uncomfortable experiences like criticism. :-)

  34. Marin Riden says:

    Howdy there,this is Marin Riden,just observed your Post on google and i must say this blog is great.may I share some of the information found in the blog to my local buddies?i am not sure and what you think?in any case,Thanks!

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