Sadness reigns as I see the diminishing ears of people in our present time. Humans are getting more aggressive in voicing their own ramblings. Rather than listening to one another, we throw volley of snippy retorts complete with accompanying profanities. Major differences are oftentimes settled in damaging verbal dispute which leaves both parties pierced through the heart.
Communication has become one-sided these days. Everybody talks and no one cares to listen. Despite the countenance of silence most people display, their thoughts are ruminating on the next words that will lash out of their mouths. Each is obstinate with their opinion of things, each believes in the veracity of their arguments and all are confident with the correctness of their judgment. Consequently, people have abandoned the very essence of communication.
Has listening become inappropriate anymore? I hope not. Still, everywhere I look I see exchange of deafness. Husband goes deaf in the form of stonewalling while wives go deaf with incessant complaints. Parents are unable to hear their child because their ears are muffled with authority. Leaders tend to not hear the bigger issues because their pride is drumming noisily on their thoughts. In every exchange I encounter, seldom do I see a person who truly listens. Most are eager to launch their say on issues without even listening to the thoughts of the other party. This foolish attitude scratches the harmony of relationship which we should extend to our self and to our kind.
There is much wisdom to be learned if we allow our self to be still and lend our ears for a while. Conflicts and misunderstanding should have never been if people let go of their deafening condescension and truly hear what others have to say. It does not matter who is right or wrong, listening without judgment unburdens each of the feeling of being unheard. Humans need attention, and when deprived we tend to make noise. If we all focus on making noises, how can we come up with a resolve?
Be it professional, mutual, intimate or casual relationship, much of its harmony rest on the capacity of each to extend themselves thru listening. Unfortunately, attentive listening has been considered a drag; today’s practice favors impromptu response rather than reciprocal exchange of emphatic silence. Our media are overflowing with examples to justify this damaging human trend, and the disturbing reality is we are actually patronizing this foolish display of decadence.
Why are we having conflicts? Why must people shout their despair by means of violence? Why must there be war in order to be heard? Why must nature be violent in reminding us of our vulnerability? Couples end in devastation, friendship fell in misunderstanding and trust ends in betrayal. Does anyone bother to find its true cause?
If only we could listen there would be much to learn. Perhaps we could learn the uniqueness of others, or learn the pain of our loved ones, or learn the feelings of people who rely on us, or learn the reason of our miseries and misgivings, or learn the cause of our errors, or the learn the true cause of nature’s vengeance upon man, and more importantly, maybe we can learn who we really are deep inside.
Unfortunately, listening had been steered to inappropriate use. Much to my disappointment we pay more attention to activities which deteriorates our growth. Who does not love to hear of senseless gossip, or the circus showbiz, or confusing politics, or unethical debates, or chauvinistic shows or depressing news? How very attentive we are in hearing what happens to who when we gossip; how excited we are to hear the latest buzz in the showbiz arena; how eager we hear the political stand of our favored politicians; how we gleefully we absorb the arguments in damaging debates; how we love to hear the drama of our favorite shows and how we hear depressing news.
Much of the questions in life some are searching, yet they cannot find. If man can only listen, the answer is right before him. Are your listening?
“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
— Ralph Nichols
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