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Nobody wants to listen

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Sadness reigns as I see the diminishing ears of people in our present time. Humans are getting more aggressive in voicing their own ramblings. Rather than listening to one another, we throw volley of snippy retorts complete with accompanying profanities. Major differences are oftentimes settled in damaging verbal dispute which leaves both parties pierced through the heart.

Communication has become one-sided these days. Everybody talks and no one cares to listen. Despite the countenance of silence most people display, their thoughts are ruminating on the next words that will lash out of their mouths. Each is obstinate with their opinion of things, each believes in the veracity of their arguments and all are confident with the correctness of their judgment. Consequently, people have abandoned the very essence of communication.

Has listening become inappropriate anymore? I hope not. Still, everywhere I look I see exchange of deafness. Husband goes deaf in the form of stonewalling while wives go deaf with incessant complaints. Parents are unable to hear their child because their ears are muffled with authority. Leaders tend to not hear the bigger issues because their pride is drumming noisily on their thoughts. In every exchange I encounter, seldom do I see a person who truly listens. Most are eager to launch their say on issues without even listening to the thoughts of the other party. This foolish attitude scratches the harmony of relationship which we should extend to our self and to our kind.

There is much wisdom to be learned if we allow our self to be still and lend our ears for a while. Conflicts and misunderstanding should have never been if people let go of their deafening condescension and truly hear what others have to say. It does not matter who is right or wrong, listening without judgment unburdens each of the feeling of being unheard. Humans need attention, and when deprived we tend to make noise. If we all focus on making noises, how can we come up with a resolve?

Be it professional, mutual, intimate or casual relationship, much of its harmony rest on the capacity of each to extend themselves thru listening. Unfortunately, attentive listening has been considered a drag; today’s practice favors impromptu response rather than reciprocal exchange of emphatic silence. Our media are overflowing with examples to justify this damaging human trend, and the disturbing reality is we are actually patronizing this foolish display of decadence.

Why are we having conflicts? Why must people shout their despair by means of violence? Why must there be war in order to be heard? Why must nature be violent in reminding us of our vulnerability? Couples end in devastation, friendship fell in misunderstanding and trust ends in betrayal. Does anyone bother to find its true cause?

If only we could listen there would be much to learn. Perhaps we could learn the uniqueness of others, or learn the pain of our loved ones, or learn the feelings of people who rely on us, or learn the reason of our miseries and misgivings, or learn the cause of our errors, or the learn the true cause of nature’s vengeance upon man, and more importantly, maybe we can learn who we really are deep inside.

Unfortunately, listening had been steered to inappropriate use. Much to my disappointment we pay more attention to activities which deteriorates our growth. Who does not love to hear of senseless gossip, or the circus showbiz, or confusing politics, or unethical debates, or chauvinistic shows or depressing news? How very attentive we are in hearing what happens to who when we gossip; how excited we are to hear the latest buzz in the showbiz arena; how eager we hear the political stand of our favored politicians; how we gleefully we absorb the arguments in damaging debates; how we love to hear the drama of our favorite shows and how we hear depressing news.

Much of the questions in life some are searching, yet they cannot find. If man can only listen, the answer is right before him. Are your listening?

 

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”

— Ralph Nichols

 

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108 Responses to “Nobody wants to listen”

  1. A good listener will always have many friends ;) Vinish Parikh recently posted..Functions of Central BankMy Profile

  2. Justin Dupre says:

    A good listener will always have much more advantage than those who doesn’t. You can really build much better relationship and communication with anyone when you listen!

  3. Jayne Kopp says:

    Walter, first of all, I’d like to thank you for visiting and leaving a comment on my blog today… which is what lead me to yours… and I am so glad it did.

    I would like to say that all of your posts that I have read so far are thought provoking… and this one really touched a cord.

    I heard a saying about a year ago that was “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason… we should listen twice as much as we should talk” … and its so true. We all have likely been guilty of ‘thinking of what we will say next’ instead of just ‘listening’….

    I feel many relationships could be greatly improved (or even saved) if everyone just listened intently to what others were saying. Thanks again
    Jayne Kopp recently posted..Turn Lemons to Lemonade Look at the Positive Side of Life!My Profile

  4. Wow! What a great post!

    In my opinion, the only reason why humans have been able to succeed as a species is because we are “social animals”

    Social Animals that, as you mentioned, need to be heard. When not heard we make noise and tend not to listen to anyone’s thoughts but our own. Foolish really!

    I agree with Jayne! God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth. By nature, we should listen twice as much as we speak.

    True leaders listen listen to their followers and lead on that premise!
    Hector Avellaneda recently posted..Do Internet Entrepreneurs Have Any Real AssetsMy Profile

  5. Louche says:

    While I agree that people need to listen more, it’s not as if people have gotten worse. I mean you didn’t explain why you think things were better in “the good old days.” I don’t know why people like to throw around the notion that things used to be better and only have suddenly gotten bad. I think that’s where mythology and conservatism come from?

    People have never been good at listening, from what I understand. If they had been, we wouldn’t have had so goddamn many wars, violence, hatred, the Catholic Church etc. etc.

    I remember hearing a story about how this woman read a comment etched into a piece of wood and complained, “Young people these days,” but then it turned out the etching was done before she was born.

    I’m sure people are better at listening these days than in the past, but we still have much work to do on that front.

  6. Hi there, Walter! I’d like to stress on the art of listening. When we take time to really hear out what the other is saying, we’re actually listening to ourselves as well. In the process, we hear our reaction and hold back the unnecessary, hurting or offense; we listen and organize our thoughts to produce powerful messages when it’s our time to talk; and we see where the communication or conversation is going. So it’s really important that we hear out others and give them ample time. It’s not all the time about listening to them; it’s about listening to ourselves as well :) Arina Nikitina recently posted..Can You Remember the Last Time a Stranger Did Something Nice for YouMy Profile

  7. Mag says:

    people whom actively listening will always be respected, The ability to listen actively can improve personal relationships through reducing conflicts, strengthening cooperation, and fostering understanding.

  8. karen says:

    It is nice that you discussed the art of listening. Maybe if people will learn to listen more then major differences and dispute could easily be prevented. And leaders would also learn to communicate effectively as they tackle bigger issues.

  9. josephken says:

    Well, listening is one of the best thing we can give to other people- Some people think listening and hearing are the same- actually they aren’t-Listening is with understanding- It’s seem simple, but we find it hard to do it- to listen- People usually love to talk, but not to listen- I hate this kind of person! Thanks for your post-

  10. An encyclopaedia defined hearing or listening as
    “the submitting to authority, the doing of what is commanded, the complying with what is required, or the abstaining from what is forbidden.”

    I guess when it comes to listening to children they think they- the parents- are the authority thus parents do not want to listen to children.

    However, psychologist have noticed that the children with parents who are good listeners are the ones that flourish at school.
    Glenn@gijoh.com recently posted..15 Life Lessons I Learned While TravelingMy Profile

  11. I believe it’s all about the sender and receiver. Not everyone understands the words spoken the way they were actually meant.

  12. aira says:

    Talking + listening= understanding
    Talking + talking = worthless
    :?:

  13. Manuel Alcantar says:

    I strongly agree with this line from the article above “Humans are getting more aggressive in voicing their own ramblings.” And they did not even bother to listen to others.

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