Humans are said to be the only creature in God’s creation gifted with free will. I’m proud of this privilege, knowing I’m a child of the Divine. But as the years pass by I discovered a disturbing truth about my existence in this life. Much to my belief that I act according to my volition I was mistaken.
The starkest truth I have come upon is that I am no different from the inferior creatures living in this world. With the enlightening methods of science, man has proved itself to be largely similar to other species thriving in this world. I found myself sharing the same universal instincts common among organic forms—I seek recognition, I thrive for status, I defend my territory, I protect my space, I select a mate, I rage, I fear, I destroy. The system of survival I am nevertheless subject for compliance.
Despite these discoveries I’m stubborn to accept such insulting revelations about my real nature. Instead I run to the covers of my ego, proclaiming that I possess gifts no lower creatures have. Thankfully, with the light of science, man has regained its superiority. The ability to conjure a future, the capacity for imagination, the gift of creativity, the genius of improvised communication and the genius to do unimaginable wonders (plying god if I be allowed to use this notion of man), has all been exclusive of man.
Still, for the most part of my life, I have lived like a zombie. Unconsciously I’m living an identity completely different from myself. I’m under the spell of a strange force that guides my every action and influence all my decisions in life. Invisible strings are manipulating my thought and body; I am a slave of my mind.
From the day I was born, nature has weaved unto my being the necessary attributes to maximize the chances of my survival. My parents were my first vision of authority; home was my first source of experience. The “systems of survival” wired unto my brain has instructed me to mimic any perceived authority figures and adopt as valid all their discretions. As I emancipated, belief systems have also been hard-wired to serve as guide for my appropriate bearing.
Now that I’m halfway of my life I felt a conflict within myself; I sense something has been left behind, a little voice within me begs for liberation. It has dawned on me that I was not in control of my life. I have been living in the shells of my physical realm and not within the depths of my soul. I am a puppet of circumstances surrounding me.
In an effort to gain understanding I have ventured every school of thoughts man has established. The school of religion has always been sacred to me until I discovered its conflicting virtues. I believe in one God despite the many names man has labeled upon Him. What confused me though were the demarcations brought about by religion throughout the history of mankind; religious wars have spilled the blood of the innocent millions, all in the name of one God. I have come to believe that religion has been contaminated by the corruptible man. And so I have let go of my religion because I believe that God resides in the heart of man, not on any spiritual identifications. I need not know His name, labeling has been the means of my mind to gain understanding of things, and I resolve to not label anything that is beyond my understanding. God is love, and all He does is love.
My disappointment of religion has brought me to another school of thought: philosophy. It’s amazing how man can tap the infinite if he can liberate himself from the shackles of his preconditioned lot in life. I have gained the wisdom of awareness; I have learned more about my true inner self. Still, being of limited understanding, I cannot find the caveat I was searching for.
Finally, I seek answers in the reliable arms of Science. I was heavily convinced of its power in proving the state of all things. It has shed some light on the complex nature of the world I live in. I oftentimes referred science as the sorcery of the modern times because it has the power to create something out of a seeming nothing; and it can even interfere the natural flow of nature—science have erred in this application. Even street magicians employ the wonders science to fool their unsuspecting audience.
Unfortunately science has limitations—just as every thought systems that spawned from the minds of man—and it has made a mistake in claiming sole authority of deciphering reality. Science has enabled my appropriate use of cynicism because it served as my tool in validating questions of objectivity.
With all my efforts for enlightenment I have settled on the fact that the ultimate answer will never manifest from this existence. I came to acknowledge the limit of my own understanding. The reason for my existence is not to find meaning but rather to rediscover my true inner self. Only then will I be the embodiment of the meaning I am searching for.
My perception of life has been the creation of my mind; I respond to life according to the conditions of my past: and since I was brought up in struggle and lack, the world as I see it adopts the same. My greatest question is: why did I allow it? Why has my consequential identification took precedence over my true self? Why have I followed the scripts of my mind and the betrayed my inner self.
But burdening myself with these questions will gain me nothing. Instead I accepted what was, and with the realization of my awareness I have for the first time took the steering-wheel of my life. It was never easy; my mind has become my enemy. The more I defy the blueprints of my mind, the harder it is to maintain my sanity. The mind controls the body but the will manifests the soul, and the will is more powerful than the mind. With this wisdom I have learned not to resist my mind and enforced my will to shield the mind’s influence over my actions.
There is a very thin line between life and death. I have realized this when a long friend of mine suddenly died. It is a mystery why people take life for granted, believing it is for eternity, unless they are nudged by tragedy. Most of my life I have complained; most of my life I have dreamed; most of my life I have embraced the vices of envy, jealousy, hate, judgment, prejudice, laziness and comparison. It is unfortunate I have allowed myself to wallow on these things that have degraded my soul.
Life I discovered is about living, not complaining; it’s about learning, not resisting; it’s about accepting, not denying; it’s about discovering our divine self from our life-imposed identity. Everything in this world will unfold as it should and I have little or no influence in it. However I will rest at night knowing that I hold the choice of what will I become.
“The final mystery is oneself.”
– Oscar Wilde
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Our lifetime is not enough to know all the experiences of life. Therefore, we need to have other sources in maximizing our understanding of the many facets of our existence. In this regard I am bound to share with you the most powerful materials that have shaken my foundation and have changed my life as well as the lives of many.
Life is full of questions but I have found answers in perusing the books: The Road Less Traveled, Man’s Search for Meaning and The Power of Now, these has given me light on the deepest nature of man. Still, in searching for ways of enhancing my life I have found: Think and Grow Rich, The Magic of Thinking Big and Thick Face Black Heart. In matters of understanding my mind I was greatly enlightened by the suspense filled novel’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior, A Rich Man’s Secret and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. And finally, I have understood the pattern of my finances through reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.
Everything we wish in life will come upon us if we first seek the wisdom of knowing.