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Finding myself beyond my identity

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Humans are said to be the only creature in God’s creation gifted with free will. I’m proud of this privilege, knowing I’m a child of the Divine. But as the years pass by I discovered a disturbing truth about my existence in this life. Much to my belief that I act according to my volition I was mistaken.

The starkest truth I have come upon is that I am no different from the inferior creatures living in this world. With the enlightening methods of science, man has proved itself to be largely similar to other species thriving in this world. I found myself sharing the same universal instincts common among organic forms—I seek recognition, I thrive for status, I defend my territory, I protect my space, I select a mate, I rage, I fear, I destroy. The system of survival I am nevertheless subject for compliance.

Despite these discoveries I’m stubborn to accept such insulting revelations about my real nature. Instead I run to the covers of my ego, proclaiming that I possess gifts no lower creatures have. Thankfully, with the light of science, man has regained its superiority. The ability to conjure a future, the capacity for imagination, the gift of creativity, the genius of improvised communication and the genius to do unimaginable wonders (plying god if I be allowed to use this notion of man), has all been exclusive of man.

Still, for the most part of my life, I have lived like a zombie. Unconsciously I’m living an identity completely different from myself. I’m under the spell of a strange force that guides my every action and influence all my decisions in life. Invisible strings are manipulating my thought and body; I am a slave of my mind.

From the day I was born, nature has weaved unto my being the necessary attributes to maximize the chances of my survival. My parents were my first vision of authority; home was my first source of experience. The “systems of survival” wired unto my brain has instructed me to mimic any perceived authority figures and adopt as valid all their discretions. As I emancipated, belief systems have also been hard-wired to serve as guide for my appropriate bearing.

Now that I’m halfway of my life I felt a conflict within myself; I sense something has been left behind, a little voice within me begs for liberation. It has dawned on me that I was not in control of my life. I have been living in the shells of my physical realm and not within the depths of my soul. I am a puppet of circumstances surrounding me.

In an effort to gain understanding I have ventured every school of thoughts man has established. The school of religion has always been sacred to me until I discovered its conflicting virtues. I believe in one God despite the many names man has labeled upon Him. What confused me though were the demarcations brought about by religion throughout the history of mankind; religious wars have spilled the blood of the innocent millions, all in the name of one God. I have come to believe that religion has been contaminated by the corruptible man. And so I have let go of my religion because I believe that God resides in the heart of man, not on any spiritual identifications. I need not know His name, labeling has been the means of my mind to gain understanding of things, and I resolve to not label anything that is beyond my understanding. God is love, and all He does is love.

My disappointment of religion has brought me to another school of thought: philosophy. It’s amazing how man can tap the infinite if he can liberate himself from the shackles of his preconditioned lot in life. I have gained the wisdom of awareness; I have learned more about my true inner self. Still, being of limited understanding, I cannot find the caveat I was searching for.

Finally, I seek answers in the reliable arms of Science. I was heavily convinced of its power in proving the state of all things. It has shed some light on the complex nature of the world I live in. I oftentimes referred science as the sorcery of the modern times because it has the power to create something out of a seeming nothing; and it can even interfere the natural flow of nature—science have erred in this application. Even street magicians employ the wonders science to fool their unsuspecting audience.

Unfortunately science has limitations—just as every thought systems that spawned from the minds of man—and it has made a mistake in claiming sole authority of deciphering reality. Science has enabled my appropriate use of cynicism because it served as my tool in validating questions of objectivity.

With all my efforts for enlightenment I have settled on the fact that the ultimate answer will never manifest from this existence. I came to acknowledge the limit of my own understanding. The reason for my existence is not to find meaning but rather to rediscover my true inner self. Only then will I be the embodiment of the meaning I am searching for.

My perception of life has been the creation of my mind; I respond to life according to the conditions of my past: and since I was brought up in struggle and lack, the world as I see it adopts the same. My greatest question is: why did I allow it? Why has my consequential identification took precedence over my true self? Why have I followed the scripts of my mind and the betrayed my inner self.

But burdening myself with these questions will gain me nothing. Instead I accepted what was, and with the realization of my awareness I have for the first time took the steering-wheel of my life. It was never easy; my mind has become my enemy. The more I defy the blueprints of my mind, the harder it is to maintain my sanity. The mind controls the body but the will manifests the soul, and the will is more powerful than the mind. With this wisdom I have learned not to resist my mind and enforced my will to shield the mind’s influence over my actions.

There is a very thin line between life and death. I have realized this when a long friend of mine suddenly died. It is a mystery why people take life for granted, believing it is for eternity, unless they are nudged by tragedy. Most of my life I have complained; most of my life I have dreamed; most of my life I have embraced the vices of envy, jealousy, hate, judgment, prejudice, laziness and comparison. It is unfortunate I have allowed myself to wallow on these things that have degraded my soul.

Life I discovered is about living, not complaining; it’s about learning, not resisting; it’s about accepting, not denying; it’s about discovering our divine self from our life-imposed identity. Everything in this world will unfold as it should and I have little or no influence in it. However I will rest at night knowing that I hold the choice of what will I become.


“The final mystery is oneself.”

– Oscar Wilde

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P.S.

Our lifetime is not enough to know all the experiences of life. Therefore, we need to have other sources in maximizing our understanding of the many facets of our existence. In this regard I am bound to share with you the most powerful materials that have shaken my foundation and have changed my life as well as the lives of many.

Life is full of questions but I have found answers in perusing the books: The Road Less Traveled, Man’s Search for Meaning and The Power of Now, these has given me light on the deepest nature of man. Still, in searching for ways of enhancing my life I have found: Think and Grow Rich, The Magic of Thinking Big and Thick Face Black Heart. In matters of understanding my mind I was greatly enlightened by the suspense filled novel’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior, A Rich Man’s Secret and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. And finally, I have understood the pattern of my finances through reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.

Everything we wish in life will come upon us if we first seek the wisdom of knowing.

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55 Responses to “Finding myself beyond my identity”

  1. Bravo, Walter. This is a really thoughtful piece! On your comment about religion, “I have come to believe that religion has been contaminated by the corruptible man. And so I have let go of my religion because I believe that God resides in the heart of man, not on any spiritual identifications.”—I am right there with you! As for your awakening, boy do I think you are on to something. At a certain point, we have to stop questioning all of this, and just start embracing the moment and really, really living this life. Great writing here. Thanks for this post!

    • Walter says:

      @Jodi – Such inspiring words Jodi. I’m glad you have shared with me on the aspect of religion. Thank you for appreciating this piece. :-)

  2. BeTrulyHappy says:

    I believe living consciously allows one to shape their own reality by the thoughts they allow in their minds.

    I don’t understand when you say that will is more powerful than the mind. It is your thought process in your mind that determines how strong your will is. Your mind does not only control your body but it controls your will. It controls your actions, decisions, and what your life will become. The mind is the most powerful thing known to man. It created everything we know today.

    Great post!

    • Walter says:

      I can’t find the exact word to label the will of the soul; so I’ve settled for will. I believe that our mind belongs to the physical, that is why we behave according to our nature. The will (soul) is the only force that is capable of defying our mind because it resides beyond the boundaries of our thoughts. For example, I someone hits me, the instant command of my mind is to retaliate; but if it’s my will to forgive–despite my mind disagreeing–my response will be in defiance of my nature. :-)

    • Walter says:

      @Faizal – I can’t find the exact word to label the will of the soul; so I’ve settled for will. I believe that our mind belongs to the physical, that is why we behave according to our nature. The will (soul) is the only force that is capable of defying our mind because it resides beyond the boundaries of our thoughts. For example, I someone hits me, the instant command of my mind is to retaliate; but if it’s my will to forgive–despite my mind disagreeing–my response will be in defiance of my nature. :-)

  3. Robin says:

    Hi there Walter – I really like the way you describe accepting yourself as the key to finding your true identity (if I’m reading you right). I think if we can get in touch with and value our deep inner “knowing”, we can sense our true authentic self. Interesting article!

  4. Hi Walter – The Oscar Wilde quote is the perfect punctuation for this post. Lots to chew on here – but I especially liked your analogy of running “to the covers of my ego.” I got the image of a child leaping into bed and pulling the covers over his head. That is exactly what we do rather than face things openly with good hearts. Thanks.

  5. Nice post. Your last paragraph says it all for me.
    “Everything in this world will unfold as it should.” Now if I could really get that I’d never have to worry again.
    I just read a question that I copied on an index card, it read: How much do I practice thoughts that bring me joy? How much do I practice thought that bring me pain? My answers sum up how I experience life!

  6. Sara says:

    Walter — I could related to everything you said in this post. I feel like we’ve been on similar paths and it’s nice to have company:~)

    I confess I’m not always living to the truth of my soul; ego does still draw me in at times. But I am more aware of when this happens and that I have a choice.

    As a matter of fact, my favorite line in this soul-searching post was, “However I will rest at night knowing that I hold the choice of what will I become.”

    I like this reminder. Thanks for this post:~)

    • Walter says:

      @Sara – I’m happy knowing that you have related to my thoughts Sara. Most of the time we cheat on ourselves, little did we know that we are the only ones that suffers. Thank you for taking time to read my post. :-)

  7. Hi Walter,

    What a beautiful post! :)I so much can relate to your journey.

    You are so right, we hold the choice of what we will become. Our lives are a reflection of our choices and our thoughts. We truly create our realities and our perceptions form that reality.

    Have a great day! :)

  8. Evita says:

    Wow Walter, I was blown away by almost every line! What a truly magnificent post indeed!

    Your words, which I imagine to reflect your thoughts are speaking volumes here and really I find myself resonating with them so much. You have professed things here that I also accept as my personal truths. And yes I agree, it spills over to Tolle’s work too, which I also love.

    Like you, I have found disillusionment in religion, from probably exactly the same place from where you describe it.

    And like you I believe we “think” we are so above other beings, but for the most part we are so not. We do not for the most part exercise our free will or our divinity. In fact knowing what I know about animals, I think sometimes we don’t even rise to their marvelous existence in how we act towards each other.

    So in the end, I relate here so well – thank you Walter – this was beautiful indeed and putting these words out for others to read definitely raises the vibration of the collective consciousness.

  9. Walter,
    I applaud you for this intensely personal post and I appreciate your transparency in illustrating your learnings.
    Belinda

  10. Wilma Ham says:

    Religion had shut the door to God for a long time for me too. God was religion and religion was man made fake nonsense so God was too.
    Hmm, I thankfully got over that and see God as the Source that can be trusted. Some clever loving entity must have thought this earth up and I do honor the extra ordinariness of life as it is.
    I guess we are all looking for a workable explanation of life.
    The mind however cannot come up with one as it works according to conditioning which as you eluded to are resulting in beliefs that are serving the hierarchy but not us. The mind cannot come up with an original thought, the heart/soul that connects to the source can.
    The heart or soul is not nurtured, only the mind is so the hierarchy can control it.
    How the hierarchy got such a grip on us is not hard to see, look at the fear the authorities can instill on us and you got the answer.
    The big thing is to individually get ourselves seperate from the world of structure, which is mind dominated and let go of the attachment there.
    Be in the world but not of it. Use structures, the physical workd wisely, live in integrity and yet let it not build you a manufactured identity.
    Who we are has nothing to do with the structures, it has to do with who we are being in relation to these structures, free, ubnattached yet loving them, in integrity and in service of a bigger picture that is greater than our effort to merely survive and add value to all life.
    That is what I am striving for.
    That experience will get me face to face with God and let me experience heaven on earth.
    Phew, Walter, let’s get that mind of ours where it belongs. In the back seat, doing as it is told.

    • Walter says:

      @Wilma – I’m very glad you have shared your thoughts with me Wilma. Life is truly a mystery; we don’t need to burden ourselves to find meaning; instead let us find our true self. :-)

  11. Wow, you really spilled your heart here. I can tell you are now living with open eyes. Not a lot of people come to these revelations about where and how they erred in life. Bravo! You can do only good things and spread the light that is in you, in all of us.

    There is always new awareness.

  12. Karlil says:

    Hi Walter. I can truly understand your point of view being corrupted men using religion for their own benefit. However with that said, wouldn’t it be unfair if you were to judge religions based on the men that claim to practice it while in reality does not? I don’t claim to be religious though. Just saying :)

  13. Hi Walter.

    I see the process you went through in your thinking there. It is pretty cool that you detailed your steps in your stream of consciousness. You gave each concept some time in your thinking, got the idea that it wasn’t for you, and moved on. This is where some valuable results come from.

  14. I loved reading this post, and all the comments from others who have walked this path, too. I’m one of them and I really related to what you said. My favorite lines were, “Life I discovered is about living, not complaining; it’s about learning, not resisting; it’s about accepting, not denying; it’s about discovering our divine self from our life-imposed identity.” In particular, the “not resisting” part is huge for me now. So much surrender is being asked of me, and I’m doing my best to allow life to unfold. After all, I created this life I’m living, and how I see it is how it is. It’s unfolding as I would have it unfold. What’s to resist? And for every good is a bad, and every bad a good. We are all; everything is all. There really isn’t duality.

    Such an interesting post; thanks for writing it.

  15. Hal says:

    Hi Walter,
    You have certainly bared your soul with this post. The best of luck to you on your quest for meaning in life.
    And thanks for stopping by my site.

  16. “Everything in this world will unfold as it should and I have little or no influence in it. However I will rest at night knowing that I hold the choice of what will I become.”

    Powerful words. For ultimately the only thing we can control is who we become. Long after our creations disappear and our actions forgotten, what we take with us onward in our journey toward the Self is who we have transformed into, at the end of each lifetime.

    Awesome post! Thank you!

  17. Sahil Kotak says:

    Hey Walter, very nice post. And I like it so much thanks for making such a wonderful one. :D

  18. Ricky says:

    Very good insightful thoughts. Sorry to hear about your friend. You can’t predict that what will happen next moment :(

  19. Greg says:

    Finding this post is very timely, as my wife and I were having a conversation regarding this very topic last night. I’ll have to get her to read your thoughts…

  20. Ricardo says:

    Thanks for coming by a little while back. Yes, there are many things you discuss here that indeed hold you back and they become learned behavioral patterns so it feels like second nature. It becomes second nature. Imagine cutting yourself off at the knees becoming the norm. This is the ultimate crime one can commit on themselves.

    My condolences to your friends.

    • Walter says:

      @Ricardo – Thank you Ricardo. There are much things we need to learn from life. But we spend too much time on our weaknesses. :-)

  21. Bob says:

    Great Post Walter, as a former pastor and one who has seen what man has unintentionally done to the church and how we view God and things of the spirit it saddens me, we are truly our own worst enemy. There are so many hurting and depressed people who need to understand what you have written.

    Romans 12:2 tells us that we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. When I REALLY grasped the depth of those simple words, my life has changed. We need to as Jesus said, become as children, with a clean open mind and then we can enjoy life and others the way God desires us to.

    • Walter says:

      @Bob – I deeply appreciate your sharing with me Bob. People need to look deep in themselves because therein lies our problems. And just like a child, we must never dwell in the past. It’s amazing how a child lives in the present moment. :-)

  22. Tim says:

    That is one of the best posts I ever read. Personally, I find it sad that religious people and those with scientific inclinations aren’t able to come to a reasonable and logical compromise when it comes to theories that have been undoubtedly proven true. All because someone identifies themselves with a certain Faith or creed doesn’t mean they have to deny what is observable to all.

    We need to get past the childish arguments of today to make greater strides toward the future. But there will always be people who will divide humanity and provoke us to fight each other for no good reason.

    What can I say?

  23. Kathy Dobson says:

    Hi Walter,
    I must tell you how much I enjoyed reading this post. Poetic and wise.
    When we have awakened enough to understand and to “see” that God is all that there is, we will stop labeling things as good or bad and simply accept that they are God in action…discovering himself. Everything simply is…and, it only becomes a good or bad depending on what label we give it. Good and bad are relative terms and what is good for one person has it’s opposite somewhere in bad. (you can’t have one without the other)
    You can either perceive the world from a duality stand point and continue to label and judge…(for remember, if you see things from a dual point of view, you will automatically judge everything against something else) or you can see life as ONE. ONE movement forward…ONE movement evolving.
    When you see ONE, you see God and everything else falls away including judgment and labels and the only thing left is GOD which was all there was to begin with!
    Wonderful blog…
    I’ll be back,
    Kathy

  24. Tina T says:

    I think that even though we live our lives doing many of the same things as animals (getting food, shelter etc.) I think that just being able to contemplate the similarities between man and animals means that we are created in the likeness of an all knowing, all loving creator. For me personally, religion provides me with many more answers than science.

  25. Rocky Garcia says:

    @ Tina – Yeah you’re right. Religion best explains the where people originate and what is the purpose of our life.
    .-= Rocky Garcia´s last blog ..Cool FarmVille Prints =-.

  26. [...] Finding myself beyond my identity [...]

  27. [...] Finding myself beyond my identity [...]

  28. [...] Finding myself beyond my identity [...]

  29. [...] Finding myself beyond my identity [...]

  30. Your last sentence holds a real truth: that we have the choice of what we will become. And too much thinking gets in the way of finding peace of mind.

    Great blog post!!
    .-= Kate Loving Shenk´s last blog ..Squid Angel Prayers For 11/10/2009 =-.

  31. [...] Finding myself beyond my identity [...]

  32. [...] Finding myself beyond my identity [...]

  33. Andy says:

    A very thoughtful piece, Walter. I’m struck by your reference “Be in the world but not of it. Use structures, the physical world wisely, live in integrity and yet let it not build you a manufactured identity.”
    This is close to Bhuddism, which also teaches detachment. Finding peace within and really living each moment, instead of striving for some elusive future goal or lamenting some past loss, should be the way to live. Like many others, I sometimes find it difficult to quieten my mind, but I’m trying through meditation. Thanks for this.
    Andy recently posted..Natural Treatment For TinnitusMy Profile

  34. Denton says:

    Hey Walter,

    This was an intriguing article to read especially since I love reading different material with a psychological and philosophical base. Here are some of my thoughts in relation to some of your comments:

    “It’s amazing how man can tap the infinite if he can liberate himself from the shackles of his preconditioned lot in life.?

    I agree with this statement, and yet one must be careful when deducing what those shackles are, and that we do not remove what the “world” may call shackles when in reality they are guides.

    I really wish I never would have ever heard the coined phrase, “Finding yourself.” I remember long talks with my sister regarding this phrase. Then in my twenties I came across a quote which said, “Life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating who you want to be.”

    I wish, this type of language would have been used. The former puts too much on fate, whereas the later says, a person has control over who they want to be, as a person: character, thoughts, acts, etc…

    Thanks for the intriguing thoughts.
    Denton recently posted..10 Hottest (RECESSION PROOF) CareersMy Profile

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